Ruh! Roh! Mom is searching for the bunny ears. It must be that time of year again when dog owners lose their minds. Don’t they know it is humiliating to dress us up as rabbits? After all, our innate wolf instincts clearly tell us we should be hunting rabbits, not masquerading as them! Luckily for me, I’m one step ahead of Mom and hid my bunny ears. However, for those of you caught off guard, here is my advice on how to avoid the bunny ears!
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise! It is a proven fact that a tired human is a happy human. The reverse is also true that humans with too much time on their hands are more likely to get bored and start annoying their dogs. So take your humans out to play! Whether it is a romp on the beach, a long hike, or exploring a new park, keeping your humans active is a great way to tire them out. This way when you return home they forget about those pesky ears.
Lemmy learned at an early age, “A Bored Human Is An Annoying Human.”
Make a mess! Humans are easily distracted, especially by messes. I’m not talking ripping apart one squeaky toy. I’m telling you to go all out! Spread the fluff from your overstuffed dog bed all over the living room! Roll in the nearest mud puddle, then head on into the kitchen and see how much square footage you can cover with one shake! Be creative! Humans cannot resist cleaning our messes, so the bigger the damage the longer it will take for them to clean. This also gives you time to hide the bunny ears while they are distracted.
To avoid getting into trouble, be sure to blame the mess on spontaneous combustion.
Beware of traps! Puppies and small dogs, this tip especially holds true for you – Beware of baskets! In addition to bunny ears, some dog owners like to add insult to injury by stuffing you in a basket while you’re wearing bunny ears! They lure you in with this intriguing new toy, and next thing you know you’re blinded by the camera flash and all the world is cooing over the picture of a cute puppy in a basket. I’m still haunted by the photos Mom took of me in a basket. Lemmy didn’t even lift a paw to stop her!
After years of enduring embarrassing Easter photos, Lemmy turned the other cheek and didn’t help when Mom shoved me in a basket for pictures!
Beware of unearned treats! Humans may be your best friends, but they are also ruthless! Would you believe Mom used Lemmy’s peanut butter addiction to trick him to pose with bunny ears?! She knew he was powerless to resist! Year after year he would succumb to these embarrassing photos all for his favorite treat. If I’ve learned anything from Lemmy’s mistakes, it is to be strong and follow your survival instincts. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is a trap!
Lemmy fell for the peanut butter trick every time!
Don’t cooperate! Humans cannot snap the perfect bunny ears photo without your help. So don’t sit still! Grab the ears and run! Humans love it when you play the game of keep away. Also give a good shake as soon as the ears are on your head! And always remember to stop, drop, and roll! Don’t go down without a fight! Finally, if all else fails – Eat the bunny ears! It is a small price to pay to avoid embracing photos on social media.
Asa, as a puppy, masterfully demonstrating how not to cooperate, by insisting on wearing the basket instead of the bunny ears.
I hope you find this article helpful and learned from our mistakes. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have to go hide! Mom found my bunny ears!
[Editor’s Note: Opinions expressed by Chuck Billy do not necessarily reflect those of Living with a Golden. Asa actually doesn’t mind wearing the bunny ears!]
