Asa’s song on Friday about the hazards of online shopping for the Holidays got me a little nervous. Then I started paying attention to the suggested ads in our social media timelines, and I really got nervous as to what he was going to buy for our kitty cousins. ASA! We need to have a little chat…
Chuck Billy: What were you thinking with this “Wiggle” carrier?
Asa: Well I thought maybe our kitty cousins would like to go for a hike with us sometime? They have little legs, and this backpack would make it easy for them to be carried.
Chuck Billy: Clearly you have never been on the receiving end of their claws.
Asa: Fine. I see your point. What about this nest lounger that popped up in my scrolling suggestions?
Chuck Billy: Are you serious? All that is missing is the top half and you have yourself a cat flying saucer!
Asa: Well you’re the one always saying cats are from Mars! I thought this would make them feel more at home here, and they could use it as a UFO to visit their planet.
Chuck Billy: Speaking of alien technology, what the heck are cat tongs?
Asa: Oh those! What limited contact I’ve had with cats, I’ve seen them batting their toys around with their little paws. I thought with these our kitty cousins could pick up their toys better!
Chuck Billy: I’m going to ignore you even though that was a good suggestion. Moving right along, this pool table is an interesting concept. I fancy myself a bit of a pool shark, and wouldn’t mind a friendly wager with them.
Asa: Did you say “pool shark”?! Because I have the perfect gift for our kitty cousins! An inflatable Shark Park!
Chuck Billy: Where do I begin on this one? 1. Cat claws and inflatables don’t go well together. 2. Cats hate water. And 3. Cats hate you singing Baby Shark over and over again even more than they hate water!
Chuck Billy: And while I’m on the topic of not upsetting our kitty cousins, yes they are older than us, but you do not need to remind them with this outfit!
Asa: I wouldn’t have included the wig…..
Chuck Billy: Let’s just ignore all these timeline suggestions, and get our kitty cousins what we always do. More catnip! Then we all can have a Merry Christmas!
Asa: Fine! But since you’re such an “expert” on cats, next year I’m putting you in charge of shopping!*
*wonders if too late to return suggested gift for Chuck Billy of wearable dog hairdryer.
