Not to brag, but I will, when I was a puppy I showed great promise as a shoe efficiency expert. Whereas most puppies chew shoes, I spent my days searching the house for them, and then would carry them one by one to my bed, where I would match the shoes up again.

This was back when Mom and Dad both worked outside of our home, so I had a lot of time on my paws to do this important task for them. More importantly by stacking all the shoes on my bed, I gave them a centralized location to find their shoes when they were rushing to leave the house in the morning.

However, like most dog geniuses, my humans did not understand my greatness. Rather than be grateful for all the time I was potentially saving them, Mom and Dad were creatures of habit. They insisted on searching all over the house for where they last left their shoes. My dog bed was always the last place they’d search.

They claimed my methods made no sense. Why match them up on my dog bed? Silly humans couldn’t grasp the concept that each time they enter the house after removing their shoes, their first stop is to see me. Followed by when leaving they’d put on their shoes and say goodbye to me. Having all the shoes on my bed made it convenient for me to wait for them there while they either removed or put on their shoes before coming and going.

Although I tried for a few years to retrain them, I eventually gave up. Today they still search for their shoes, but this time it is Asa’s fault. He isn’t nearly as efficient as me, and will only take one shoe and randomly leave it wherever he pleases. Can’t blame me. I tried to show them a more efficient way!