Dad is coming home today!  He has been away for work, but is due back home this afternoon.  Although I missed him greatly, I have to say I handled this situation a lot better than Lemmy ever did.  You see, my older brother Lemmy was a bit dramatic, and would methodically go through the five stages of separation while Dad was away.

Stage 1: On the day Dad would leave, Lemmy would be oblivious of his absence most of the day.  He never seemed to notice the obvious clue that Dad left with a suitcase.  It wasn’t until the evening when Dad didn’t come home that Lemmy would get concerned, and would insist on waiting by the back door.

Stage 2: By the second day Lemmy would awake all flustered.  Surely Dad must have sneaked into the house while he dozed off!  This would result in Lemmy repeatedly searching the house for Dad all day.  He would even make Mom open the attic and basement doors for him in case Dad was for some reason hiding there.

Stage 3: After spending an entire day searching and determining that Dad was not in the house, by the third day Lemmy would focus his attention on the neighbors.  They must be holding Dad hostage next door!  So Lemmy would stand at the fence facing their house, and would bark…relentlessly.  But to no avail.

Stage 4: By the fourth day Lemmy would reluctantly accept Dad’s absence, and would test Mom to see if he could get away with new things.  He’d try sitting on the couch, eating tissues from the waste basket, and even once went so far as to steal Mom’s favorite teddy bear!  But with each transgression he would get reprimanded, and he realized it wasn’t any fun breaking the rules.

Stage 5: So by the fifth day he would just sit quietly by the back door waiting for Dad to return.

Luckily for Lemmy, Dad’s trips rarely lasted more than a week.  On the rare occasion they did, like clockwork he would begin the pattern all over again!  As for me, I like to go straight to Stage 4, but with more finesse.  Mom really is a pushover when handled correctly.  So rather than break the rules, I used Dad’s absence as a way to earn more treats!  Mom can’t resist a whimper, a sad glance to the door, or a droopy tail wag.  She instantly brings out a treat to make things better!  Sometimes my performance even earns me peanut butter!  As for Asa, he’s proving to once again to be quite the narcissist and has yet to acknowledge our pack leader is missing.  Oh sure he’s only known Dad for a few months, but show a little respect!  At least that means more treats for me.  Now if you excuse me, I’m going to wait by the door for Dad.

[Editor’s Note: Although Chuck Billy claims to have played it cool, in reality each evening at every little noise he would run to the door hoping Dad had arrived home.  But yes, Asa was unfazed.]