It is that time of the year when my timelines and newsfeeds are filled with “suggestions” and “recommendations” for gifts. Well based on some of the items that have popped up recently, I really want to know who do these Santa helpers think I am?

Take for example this “suggestion” for a Three Piece Cat Shower Net Bag. If I gave this as a gift, it would guarantee my kitty cousins would never come out of hiding when I visit! That’s just mean!

Or how about this contraption for when Mom grooms us. Oh I’m sure Asa would love it, but I don’t want to chance giving Mom ideas about using it on me! Besides, I’m not sure the ceiling in our home is strong enough to support Asa’s chunky weight in a hammock!

Now I do admit, I am a bit curious about this recommendation. After all, dogs are den animals, and it would make the bed in the guest room all the more comfy cozy for me…not to mention I could keep Asa out at night.

But Christmas is about buying gifts for loved ones. However, again I have disagree with whoever suggested this for my kitty cousins. Maybe I shouldn’t have said out loud, “I wouldn’t lick my kitty cousins with a ten foot pole!” I forget Santa has spies listening to everything I say, but this is ridiculous!

Speaking of watching what I say out loud, I really don’t want to know what I said, or what Asa googled, for this to come up as a gift for Mom and Dad!

And finally, yes I’m sometimes referred to as “Old Man,” but I am way too young and a flashy dresser for anyone to think that I would actually need suspenders for my boots! I’ll take my chances losing my boots in the snow, thank you very much!

So whoever the Elf, Robot, or Grinch is who is filling my newsfeed with these “suggestions,” can you just please stop! I don’t need your help finding the perfect gifts for my loved ones this Christmas. In fact, I can guarantee I’d end up on everyone’s Naughty List, not just Santa’s, if I followed your advice!