Today we are celebrating the birthday of one of the hardest working men in rock – Bret Michaels! When most lead singers would be satisfied touring with their main band, Bret often is also performing solo shows on his days off from Poison, doing fundraisers for everyone from veterans, to summer camps for children with type 1 diabetes, to even the occasional dog charity. And through it all he makes sure everyone feels like an important guest at the party. Just ask our Mom, she is still living on the euphoria of having Bret point at her and say “You Rock!” at a show that was over a decade ago! So in honor of his 60th birthday, for the man who shows no signs of slowing down, Asa has written a parody to Poison’s 1987 breakout hit “Talk Dirty to Me,” namely, Talk Squeaky to Me!
You know I saw you
I saw you at the pet food store
Your squeak I couldn’t just ignore
‘Cause I like it
And I know Mom wants me to
To head on home with you
I gotta squeak you
Oh yes, I do!
I never
I never ever hurt my toys
Because you know you bring me joy
Just to squeak you
And I know you cannot wait
Wait to be squeaked too
I gotta squeak you
‘Cause stuffie we’ll be
At Dad’s office
Under the old man’s desk
During a zoom call
I’ll be squeakin’ some more
Down the kitchen
Shut the office door
And stuffie
Talk squeaky to me
You know I’ll squeak you
When Mom is on the telephone
One of the perks of work from home
Clients can hear you
When you squeak those sounds to me
And don’t do it softly
They gotta hear you
‘Cause stuffie we’ll be
At Dad’s office
Under the old man’s desk
During a zoom call
I’ll be squeakin’ some more
Down the kitchen
Shut the office door
And stuffie
Talk squeaky to me
Chucky pick up that stuffie and squeak to me!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Arrooo!
‘Cause stuffie we’ll be
At Dad’s office
Under the old man’s desk
During a zoom call
They’ll be hearin’ more squeak, squeak, squeak
Down the kitchen
Dad shut the office door
And stuffie
Talk squeaky to me, yeah
And stuffie
Talk squeaky to me, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak
And stuffie
Talk squeaky to me
Whoo!
That’s the way I like it, stuffie
Ooh, yeah!
