That Time I Offered to Teach My Kitty Cousins to Swim

By Chuck Billy's Blog,

As we enter the last weekend of July, Asa and I have been busy checking off items on our Summer Dog Challenge. But with one glaring omission. We haven’t gone swimming yet this year! Would you believe my kitty cousins live at a lake, and have never gone swimming – ever! If I lived there I would roll out of bed every morning and jump in the lake. In fact, if I could I’d spend my whole day swimming! Yet according to my Pepere and Babci, my kitty cousins, Vegas and Kaz have yet to dip so much as a paw into that cool refreshing water. This boggles my mind. Even more mind boggling is they refused my offer back in 2017 to teach them how to swim. So today I will repeat this my generous offer.

Chuck Billy’s Swimming School for Cats (August 2017)

Dear Kitty Cousins, are you tired of simply watching the loons from afar?  Does it annoy you that you can’t get up close and personal with the fish?  It’s time you expand your world at Chuck Billy’s Swimming School for Cats!  As your canine coach, I will personally teach you the basics of swimming, while helping you build confidence by easing your fears in a caring non-chasing, minimal barking, supportive environment.  Cats who swim are safer near water, especially when their big clumsy cousin Asa is around.  Also by learning to swim, you will have more opportunities for physical activity and perhaps won’t waste your days sleeping like you do now.  As you have watched me from the window, you already know that I am an excellent swimmer, and have years of experience at the very lake where you live.

Now I understand that teaching cats to swim requires a sensitive approach to help you get past your fear of water.  So I promise not to knock you off the dock into the lake which is how Lemmy taught me.  Instead I will take the time to teach you the basics of the doggie paddle.  Ok, I admit that name may upset you, so call it whatever you want.  Overall my goal is to teach you the proper techniques, so that you will finally take advantage of the beautiful lake where you live.  All I ask of you is 1: please promise not to make that awful hissing noise and scratch my nose like Cousin Misty use to do to Lemmy, and 2: please come out of hiding.  It’s really hard to teach you to swim if you’re always hiding from me.  Besides, it would be nice to finally meet you face to face!

Please scroll through the following pictures for more information on Chuck Billy’s Swimming School for Cats:

At Chuck Billy’s Swimming School for Cats I will teach you how to do the doggie paddle.
With my guidance I guarantee within a few minutes you will be fetching squeaky fish like a pro!
In my advance class, I will teach you proper dock diving techniques. (Pay no attention to Asa, he’s just showing off as usual.)
You have nothing to fear! A lifeguard is always on duty.
But should you run into trouble, I have plenty of boats on standby and will send Pepere to fish you out.
As an added bonus, because cats don’t like being wet, Asa will even teach you his unique drying technique.
So what are you waiting for? Sign up today for Chuck Billy’s Swimming School for Cats!

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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