The Coyote Brothers are back.  They came strolling into town sometime last week.  No doubt looking for trouble and to have a good time.  I heard them barking and howling last night.  This morning I walked my property line with Dad and discovered they have been lurking in the woods just out of plain sight.  Like most ne’er do wells, Coyotes don’t like showing their face in daylight, and instead do their deeds under the cover of darkness.  I must protect my homestead from these vermin!  But how?  Last winter I was able to keep them at bay with my barking.  But it won’t take them long to realize I’m all bark and no bite.  Once again it is time to search the internet to find the solution for all of life’s problems!

One site told me the best way to get rid of Coyotes is to remove their food source.  Well that’s easy enough.  Last year when they came around it was clear they wanted to eat my little 30 lbs. brother.  You can read about my heroic exploits to save him in Circle the Wagons.  Thankfully Asa is a lot bigger this winter, so surely that can’t be what is drawing them here.  Another site recommended using traps.  HA!  I can tell you now how that would turn out – I’d trap Asa!  He loves curling up in other dogs’ crates for a nap, so I doubt a Coyote’s crate would be any different to him.  A third website suggested using Wolf urine to scent mark your territory.  Finally something I can do!  After all, I am a Golden Wolf!  This is way better than the fourth article I found by the Humane Society of the United States entitled, “Coyote Hazing Guidelines.”  Hazing?!  I don’t want them to join a fraternity!  I want them to leave my family alone.

Now if you excuse me, I have to drink a lot of water if I’m going to scent mark my entire woods.  At least Asa can help me.  I just wish he would put down that squeaky toy and look more menacing when he does it!