The Moths: A Golden Tale of Horror

You think that scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds is scary? Imagine being swarmed by moths! Our recent run-in with moths invading my hive reminded me of that time we unwittingly found ourselves starring in our own horror movie – “The Moths!”

The Moths (September 2018)

It all began one quiet evening with a single moth.  No big deal, right?  We’ve had moths get inside the house before.  One swat and the problem was solved.  Little did we realize as we went to bed that night, a large flock of menacing moths were gathering on just the other side of our basement door.  The next morning with one flick of the light switch, we suddenly found ourselves starring in our very own horror movie, The Moths!

Silently overnight moths began fluttering into our kitchen, with only a small nightlight to guide them.  There they were poised ready to attack, when Mom innocently came downstairs that morning and turned on the light unleashing their frenzied assault!  There were moths everywhere!  Mom screamed!  I barked!  Asa wagged his tail!  And yes, Dad somehow managed to sleep through that commotion.

Mom killed approximately a dozen in just the kitchen alone!  Breathless from her relentless battle, Mom headed upstairs to warn Dad.  That’s when she was ambushed again by these winged demons!  There were approximately a half dozen more moths hanging out around the upstair hall nightlight!  Swat! Swat! Swat!  She valiantly fought her way through these home invaders to get to Dad.

Dad immediately jumped into action by heading downstairs to get coffee, while Mom headed to the basement to get breakfast for Asa and me.  Hey, you can’t expect us to fight a swarm of moths on an empty stomach, right?  That’s when Mom was greeted with a sight far more terrifying than that scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s, The Birds.  Our basement was full of moths!  Wave after wave of moths came flying up from the dark basement towards the light at the top of the stairs.  Some even crawled their way under the basement door!  Dad swatted!  Mom screamed!  I barked!  Asa wagged his tail!

All day long the relentless moth attack continued.  Mom sealed off the basement door so no more could sneak inside the house.  She also made sure her beloved LL Bean wool sweaters were safely tucked away in her cedar chest.  Meanwhile Dad continued to bravely defend our home.  I too joined in the fray by barking at the winged intruders.  Meanwhile, Asa mistakenly thought he was in a Disney movie.  He happily trotted around looking at the moths.  At one point Mom even found Asa peacefully napping with a few moths on him!  Don’t worry, she got rid of Asa’s new friends, despite his protests.

By early afternoon the onslaught seemed to have calmed down, giving Mom and Dad the opportunity to figure out how this happened.  A thorough check of all the doors and window screens proved there were no holes or obvious points of entry.  That’s when Dad realized he had recently stored some of his bee equipment in the basement.  The moths must have entered our basement on that and have been quietly hatching their invasion plan!  My Chuck BEELy Hive was the Trojan Horse for moths!  Mom screamed!  Dad swatted!  I barked!  Asa wagged his tail!

But how could we stop this malicious attack?  I recommended we contact the authorities to get the military to intervene on our behalf.  Asa, again still thinking we’re in some sort of Disney movie, worked on writing a happy song and dance number for him and the moths.  Meanwhile Mom and Dad continued to do battle with moth balls, a novelty sized fly swatter, and moth traps.  By the way in case you were wondering, moth traps don’t work.  We only caught a spider in it, who was no doubt just seeking refuge from the bazillion moths fluttering everywhere!

As the days wore on, each evening Mom and Dad left only a single nightlight on to attract their nocturnal foes to one area of the house, while we all crept along in the dark.  You’d think our lives were in danger the way Mom or Dad would react if either forgot and turned on a light.  Then again, maybe we were in danger?  Overnight I would sleep with one eye open listening to the sound of fluttering wings.  Then in the morning, armed with their novelty sized fly swatter, Mom and Dad would come downstairs, turn on the light and begin doing battle once again!  Dad swatted!  Mom screamed!  I barked!  Asa wagged his tail!

This was shaping up to be a very long week…that is until our hero swooped in and rescued us!  The UPS guy delivered an indoor electric bug zapper!  Since putting that in the basement, no more moths have been seen fluttering around the house.  Now that the problem is dying down, I wish I took a video.  Combine it with Asa’s lousy song writing and we had the makings of a new horror movie destined to become a B-movie classic!

2022 Update: The occasional moth still flutters up from the basement, but rest assured I’m ready for all nuisances small and big.

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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