As you know, I take my job as guard dog very serious.  Not to brag, but I have protected my family from Squirrels, Deer, and the occasional UPS delivery guy.  However, never before has anyone brazenly broke into my home like the winged intruder who tormented my family yesterday!  Oh sure people from away think that Maine Black Flies are just harmless insects, but in reality these winged demons not only annoy you with their constant hovering, they also bite!  Not even my thick fur can protect me from them, leaving my belly covered in welts every spring.  Now I’ve been told that Maine Black Fly season lasts from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day.  However someone forgot to tell that to the beast who taunted my family on a July afternoon.

I’m guessing Asa invited her inside.  He’s always trying to make new friends.  In fact as this one buzzed around our house, Asa happily followed her every move wagging his tail.  Foolish me thought that would make it easier for Mom to kill her.  She doesn’t have the best eyesight, and Asa was a good guide as to where the Fly landed.  Instead Asa, who is definitely NOT a guard dog, thought it was a game.  With each strike of the fly swatter he would jump and try to take it from Mom.  Thus giving his menacing friend a chance to escape, while Asa simultaneously received a swat on his head.  It’s unfortunate that didn’t knock any sense into Asa.

Anyways, Mom and Asa aren’t known for their long attention spans, and eventually they gave up their pursuit.  That’s when I decided it was time for me to take matters into my own paws and hunt down this elusive winged foe.  How hard could it be?  I’m so much bigger than her.  But she clearly used that to her advantage!  While she zipped, I zagged and accidentally knocked over a kitchen chair.  Then she flew just out of reach of my snapping jaws as I slid across the kitchen floor into the cabinets.  Luckily my dog bed was there to cushion the crash.  In her effort to escape, I chased the Fly into the living room.  I knew I had her cornered the instant she landed on the window screen!  Mom quickly closed the window, trapping the winged intruder.  Mission accomplished!  I protected my family!  Now we just can never open that window ever again, but I’m ok with that.  We have plenty of other windows.