Asa here.  For over a year now Chuck Billy has ben accusing me of being a Zombie Puppy.  Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not.  However, his most recent accusation last week inspired me to do some digging of my own into Chuck Billy’s background, after all May is Zombie Awareness Month.  Little did I realize the startling truth I’d uncover!

I spent the past week scrolling through Mom’s endless pictures, and soon it became painfully obvious that it is Chuck Billy who is the Zombie Puppy!  Mom had snapped photo after photo of Chuck Billy gnawing away on Lemmy.  But the most damning evidence is this picture of Chuck Billy trying to eat Lemmy’s brains!

I wanted to give my brother the benefit of the doubt though, maybe I was misinterpreting the photos.  So next I read the archive of Lemmy’s old emails to his Momma Butter.  Over and over again Lemmy complained about Chuck Billy’s behavior.  Take this sentence for example, “I think I’m Chuck Billy’s favorite chew toy.”  Or how about this email, “Looking forward to a vacation with Pepere, who promised he will protect me from Chuck Billy’s bullying.”  Poor innocent Lemmy thought Chuck Billy was just a bully.  Little did he realize that he was actually living with a Zombie Puppy!

This got me thinking that perhaps I was too busy defending my reputation, and ignoring the truth right in front of me.  I went back and started scrolling through my puppy pictures, and sure enough there was evidence of Chuck Billy trying to eat me!  How could I have been so blind!

But luckily for Chuck Billy, I’m a strong believer in “Live and Let Live.”  Or is it Undead and Let Live….  Or maybe Undead and Let Undead…  Not really sure how this Zombie thing works really.  But I’m proud to say I love my brother, even if he is a Zombie Puppy!  Now if I could just figure out why Chuck Billy is so paranoid about UFOs and Aliens…