This week’s class was for the birds! No, I’m serious! There was a bird at Mom and Dad’s obedience class. And not just any bird, it talked! I don’t mean talking like the wild turkeys’ gobbling, a robin’s tweeting, or even like my annoying owl neighbor who is always asking, “who?” This bird could say his name and swore like a sailor. In short, he talked like a human! What was going on here?
The class started normal enough. Mom and Dad’s trainer told us we’d be working again on high distractions and avoiding temptations. So Asa and I grabbed Mom and Dad’s leashes and began guiding them around the room to warm them up. The cat was there sunning herself on the windowsill. Big Head Pug was hanging out in his crate, and of course barking at us. There were even a few treats and tennis balls just laying on the floor that we had to pretend weren’t there. Then all of a sudden the trainer came walking out with a ginormous bird sitting on his arm!
Asa was immediately enamored with his new best friend. I was a bit more skeptical. I mean who was this Cockatiel, who greeted us with a word I can’t repeat? Then he began showing off by performing tricks and dancing. I know I’ve called Asa a “bird brain” on more than one occasion, but I finally had proof based on what I was seeing here. What was the point of inviting the bird to class? However, before I could voice my displeasure that Mom and Dad’s trainer was making a mockery of our lessons, he had us do a down / stay. Asa and I snapped to attention. Next thing I know, he put the bird down on a low pedestal in-between us!
Asa instantly sprung up to greet his new friend, and no doubt to ask some embarrassing star struck question like if he knew Big Bird. But one “down” from Dad and Asa was back on his belly. I stayed put. You couldn’t give me enough treats to go anywhere near that thing. The bird, who’s name was Cooper according to him, started whistling. Asa, once again, fell for his catcalls, and sat up. But at least this time he knew to stay in his place. Cooper even pooped right in front of us! How gross is that? He didn’t even hint at the need to go out to do his business. All the while Mom and Dad asked their trainer all sorts of questions about this obnoxious bird! He ignored my obvious question though of what was he teaching them? What happened to our class on avoiding distractions? This bird was clearly distracting Mom and Dad!
Then it happened. The bird flew away! Yep, no warning or anything. He flew right past Asa’s head, and landed on top of Big Head Pug’s crate! Mom let out a surprised squeal. Dad lunged because he was in the direct path of the bird. Big Head Pug barked in his crate, not that he ever stopped barking from the moment we arrived, and the cat yawned. Asa and myself just sat there in stunned silence. Ok, I admit we broke our down by sitting up, but we didn’t move from our spots. Would you believe the trainer praised us for our behavior? He even said if we can ignore that, we can ignore anything! Yes, Asa’s reaction was impressive that he didn’t try to dance with the bird. But what the heck was the trainer trying to teach Mom and Dad?
