Recently I saw a news story about a Michigan police department who promised to hire a cat if they reached 10,000 followers on Twitter.  I thought for sure it was some sort of April Fools joke.  Guess what?  It wasn’t.  The Troy, Michigan Police really did hire a cat!  Mind blown!  A quick Google search, and I soon realized that Troy isn’t the first department to have a police cat serving among its ranks.  However, after reading their job descriptions, it is my opinion that they are totally under utilizing the unique skills that cats bring to police work.

According to a press conference held by the Troy Police Department, after a careful screening process they hired a kitten to serve as a mascot for public appearances, promote pet adoptions, and will offer therapeutic support to his fellow officers.  A lofty job description for this yet to be named kitten.  Yet there are other cats all over the globe with these same duties.  There’s Officer Lemon, a former stray in Kyoto, Japan, who now comforts victims.  In South Korea, Officer Molang was given her own uniform and serves as the department’s mascot.  In this country, don’t let Felony’s name fool you.  She offers emotional support to her coworkers at the St. Louis Police Department, as well as started her own program promoting cat adoptions.  Even the Boston SWAT team has a cat among their ranks.  A calico cat, appropriately named SWAT, serves as their mascot and plays the integral role of therapist to relieve the stress of her fellow officers.

Some cats use their innate skills to earn their badges.  Officer Toby overcame a rough start as a stray to become one of the New Zealand’s top officers.  He patrols for suspicious rodents in Kapiti.  In 2007, the Working Cats program of Voice for the Animals, a Los Angeles based animal advocacy and rescue group, placed feral cats in police stations with rodent problems.  These cats do an amazing job apprehending rats in their appointed patrol districts.

However, as far as I can tell from my research, only one police department in Russia actually used cats for investigations.  Rusik’s ability to sniff out endangered species of fish and caviar got him hired by the Stavropol Police Department.  Caviar is an expensive commodity on the black market and possessing it illegally results in a long jail sentence.  Rusik proudly served as his department’s contraband sniffing cat until he was killed on duty by smugglers who ran over him during a car inspection.  Barsik, another Russian scent recognition cat, was also killed on duty with a poisoned mouse.

In my opinion, cats should leave the nose work to professional K9s.  However, I do believe cats offer valuable specialized skills that are being under utilized by police departments.  Now don’t get me wrong, I find being mascots, comfort cats, and ratters to be admirable roles.  However, just think of the impact they could make if cats were hired as undercover detectives!  My cat cousins would excel at that job!  For years they have lurked in the shadows, secretly watching my every move, without revealing their whereabouts.  Proving cats are way better at working undercover than dogs ever could be!  With a thump of a tail, a bored sigh, or an ill-timed scratch, we inevitably give our whereabouts away.  How do cats sit still for so long?  Cats are also better at interrogation than dogs.  No matter how hard I try, my tail always gives away what I’m feeling.  But cats have the ultimate poker face…or in this case, tail.  And let’s not forget the power of that stare!  Even with a clear conscience, my kitty cousin, Misty, could get me to confess to anything.  She would lock eyes on me and wouldn’t falter until I ended up confessing to her everything I did during my visit to my grandparents’ house.  I apologized to a cat for just being me!  Ok, I’m sure with a good lawyer those cat confessions can be thrown out in court.  However, I strongly believe more police departments should consider hiring cats as undercover detectives.  Besides, they’ve been working as spies for Santa for years.  They’ve more than proved they are up to the challenge!