Dear Readers, because Mom took a personal day off yesterday without asking my permission first, I do not have a post to share with you today. Clearly Mom neglected to read the section in her Training Manual, which I wrote, regarding unexcused absences. Had she been following my guidelines she would have known that before taking any time off she must type the blog post I bark at her first. So please excuse me while I review the rules with Mom.
Chuck Billy: You do understand why I called this meeting?
Mom: I have my suspicions.
Chuck Billy: If you’ll please turn to page 523 in your Training Manual, you will see it states, “Dogs must accompany humans on ALL car rides.”
Mom: But this car ride wasn’t to anyplace fun that you’d enjoy.
Chuck Billy: HA! Every time I’ve gone with you, it has been to someplace fun. I doubt this time would be any different! Don’t forget, as soon as Asa and I save enough money we will be purchasing our own self-driving car. Soon Asa and I will be able to just hop in the car, program it with our destination, and will be whisked off to exotic locations! Then you’ll be the one sitting at home wishing we brought you.
Mom: But you’ll still need me to pick up your poop, and hold the leash.
Chuck Billy: I’m sure they’ll invent a robot to do that task. But enough about the future, this discussion is about your unexcused absence yesterday. Now if you’ll turn to page 804 in your Training Manual, it states, “When given permission to leave the house without us, you MUST return with treats and/or toys.”
Mom: I did! I picked up at the post office the package of treats sent to you by your friends Keeva and Poppi.
Chuck Billy: Please keep reading. You’ll see in subsection H, “Gifts from friends, although very much appreciated, do NOT count as gifts from Mom and Dad. You must also bring us treats.”
Mom: *eye roll*
Chuck Billy: Now let’s discuss your sentencing for breaking my rules. Because I am a fair judge, I’m going to be lenient on you. You will be required to play fetch and/or pet me and Asa all day today.
Mom: But what about today’s blog post?
Chuck Billy: Eh, I’ll think of something to post here today.
