Fourteen years ago on this day Mom and Dad became first time dog parents. This was a responsibility they did not take lightly. Before Lemmy set paw into our home, they read every book recommended to them and sought advice from respected dog sources regarding everything from medical care, diet, exercise, and training. They thought they were prepared. Boy were they surprised by the things no one ever mentioned to them about being a dog owner! So today we are sharing a few of the things no one told Mom and Dad about living with a Golden.

Sewing Skills Required: Mom has become quite the seamstress over the years. Thankfully not on us, but our toys! This holds especially true for Asa, who has some very dear stuffed animal friends who occasionally need a few stitches to keep their fluff from falling out. Mom may still sew buttons crooked on Dad’s shirts, but she is an expert at stuffies first aid now.

Poops bags can appear anywhere: Mom and Dad were prepared to carry poop bags in all pockets in clothes they wear with us. What surprised them is how over the years poop bags started to appear in pockets of clothing they never wore while walking us. For example, Mom was giving an important presentation once, and just before walking up to the podium she reached into her pocket and felt a poop bag! Which thankfully she didn’t need as a vomit bag for nerves, but instead brought her amusement and comfort knowing we were with her in spirit. Dad had a similar experience when attending a funeral. Although much to Dad’s embarrassment, the poop bag fell out of his suit pocket as he was paying respects. It sure lightened the mood of the grieving family! But to this day he still doesn’t know how that bag got in his suit pocket.

Unappetizing dinner conversations: While we’re on the topic of poop, Mom and Dad were not prepared on how often they’d find themselves discussing our bathroom habits while enjoying a meal together. Conversations include, “I think Chuck Billy needs to go out,” where one will stop eating and let their meal get cold while attending to my needs. In fact, I have them so well trained that other person will stop eating too, and will inevitable greet us when we return with “Did he go?” Inevitably this is followed by a discussion on how many times I went throughout the day. Another dinner topic was, “Did Lemmy poop today?” Lemmy had issues, and they needed to keep track in case he needed an extra walk before bed. Ok, so somedays he’d hold it until Dad came home! When we were younger there was also the frequent conversation of “You should have seen what was pooped out today!” These are two adults, with relatively interesting lives, and yet this is what they discuss during meals!

You can say this but not that: On a side note, Mom still giggles over the strange things she can say to dogs, not just us – any dog she meets, that she could never say to another human such as, “Who wants a belly rub,” and “That is a very pretty fluffy butt.” Ok, I suppose she could say it to someone, but she’d either get arrested or at least have an awkward chat with HR. Also, fun fact, whatever algorithms Facebook uses, “balls” are considered a naughty word and the post will be blocked / hidden. This has led Mom to become very creative when writing about our favorite activity of fetch!

No one will look you in the eye again: Mom and Dad are convinced that with the exception of two neighbors no one knows their names. Yet on a daily basis we are greeted by people waving and saying hello to Asa and myself by name. Pre-pandemic when we explored places, we were constantly being approached by people whose gaze would be focused downward on us, oblivious to whoever was on the other end of our leash. Dad once joked it didn’t matter what he wore from the knees up, as long as he had on clean pants and good shoes. Although one winter Mom did learn it is important to still look respectable. She was wearing her favorite sock monkey hat, and after the stranger petted and talked to us, she stood up, looked at Mom with a very surprised expression, and exclaimed, “Whoa! Look at that hat!” To this day we’re not sure if it was a compliment or not. However overall, Mom and Dad will find themselves having full conversations with people about us, and not once will the person actually look up at them.

An outfit for everything: Which brings me to our final example of things no one tells new dog owners, namely your entire wardrobe will change. You may not like cold weather, or walks in the rain. You may prefer fashionable footwear, or stylish but impractical coats. All that goes away when you have a dog. Fourteen years ago when Lemmy joined our family Mom owned one winter coat, and not a single pair of rain boots. She now has a wardrobe of several coats for various temperatures and weather conditions, not one but two pairs of rain boots, multiple pairs of winter boots, rain pants, ski pants, sturdy walking sneakers, hiking boots, and countless other articles of clothing so that she is ready to be outside with us no matter what the weather may be!