Asa’s life of deception has finally been revealed!  I knew it would only be a matter of time before he slipped up and would get caught.  For years he has been sneaking onto the couch when Mom and Dad aren’t home, thus breaking the no dogs on the furniture rule.  But finally Asa’s bravado got the better of him, and he was caught in the act!  At last this act of civil disobedience has been stopped…or has it?

A few days ago Mom came home and found Asa sitting on the couch.  Clearly he heard the garage door open, followed by the car door close, and then the jangle of the keys in the lock.  Yet Asa just sat there on the couch with not even the slightest remorse that he was about the be caught.  Quickly I ran to greet Mom at the door and usher her over to the living room to witness his heinous crime.  However, Mom’s reaction was baffling!  She didn’t tell him to get off, nor did she even reprimand him.  She laughed, grabbed her camera and snapped a couple pictures.  Then she went back to putting the groceries away.  I couldn’t believe it!  Mom didn’t make a big deal about it.  Shouldn’t she have nipped this delinquent behavior in the bud to save him from a life of crime?  Instead, Asa totally got away with it!  To my astonishment, during dinner Mom showed the photos to Dad and he laughed too.  Have they lost their minds?  Are we spiraling into a state of anarchy?  Slowly they pieced together all the signs that they missed: the occasional throw pillow found on the floor, the unexplained stains, the excessive dog hair on the couch verses other furniture.  Way to go Sherlock Holmes and Watson!  But rather than confront the villain, they laughed!

A few days later, Asa repeated his brazen act of disrespect.  Only this time, he did it in front of Mom!  Mom was sitting on the couch and talking to Grandma on the phone.  They were reminiscing about Grandpa, whom they miss a lot, and Mom was getting teary eyed yet again.  Without missing a beat, the Eddie Haskell of canines casually got on the couch like it was no big deal, curled up next to Mom resting his head on her lap, and let out the most heart wrenching sigh I ever heard.  Did Mom block him?  Did she push him off?  No!  She cuddled him and started petting him.  Adding insult to injury, from what I could make out from Mom’s side of the conversation, Grandma actually said, “What a good boy!”  And Mom agreed!  Mom began praising Asa on how sweet he was to comfort her when she was sad.  Good Boy?!  He was blatantly breaking the rules!  Asa could have easily consoled Mom like I do, by sitting on the floor next to her and putting his head on her lap.  He didn’t need to climb up on the couch to do it!  Well we both know Mom is a pushover, so I really shouldn’t be surprised.  Asa wouldn’t dare get on the couch in front of Dad.  Or so I thought…

Yep, there we were, Dad was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the couch, and petting me.  When Asa shamelessly walked over to the couch, climbed up, and settled in behind him forming a pillow for Dad’s head.  Game on!  This was going to get good!  Surely Asa would earn some crate time for that bold act of civil disobedience.  Nope.  Instead Dad laughed and called for Mom to come downstairs to see what Asa was up to!  Embarrassed, Asa jumped off the couch before Mom arrived.  Then things really got weird.  Dad happily tried to coax Asa to do it again to show her!  He even put a treat on the couch!  A TREAT!  Have they lost their minds?!  Even Asa was confused by their behavior, and refused to do it.  What’s the point of being a rebel if you’re only going to be asked to do it again while being called a silly boy?  Oh, in case you’re wondering, I ate the treat because 1. I’m a stress eater and 2. clearly I’m the only one who deserved it.

So here I stand at the crossroads.  Do I follow Asa’s lead and break the rules too?  Or do I continue to be a good dog and obey Mom and Dad?  Although I’m a stickler for the rules, I’ve been known to sit on my grandmothers’ couches from time to time.  But they’ve invited me to do it.  I guess I’m partly to blame too for Asa’s behavior.  I should have alerted Mom and Dad to Asa’s indiscretion back when he was a puppy before it got so out of control.  But I figured what they don’t know won’t hurt them.  Besides, when he’s on the couch I have a rare few minutes to myself.  However, now I’m questioning everything I hold dear.  What good are rules if they can be broken without consequence?  Nope, my conscience won’t let me succumb to peer pressure!  Therefore I’m now adding Couch Patrol to my list of duties.  Whenever I see Asa on the couch I vow to wrestle him off of it!  It is the only way to end this delinquent behavior and save Asa from spiraling further into a life of deviance!

[Asa’s Rebuttal: I still don’t see what the big deal is about the couch.  Mom and Dad sit on our dog beds with us all the time.  Why can’t we sit on the couch with them?  Besides, some rules are meant to be broken!]