We could use a little help here.  Could you distract Mom for us?  You see Asa got a wee bit muddy during our quick trip out, and I don’t want to get him in trouble.  Well actually I don’t want to get me in trouble.  I will neither admit nor deny I may have accidentally tackled him in the muddy spot next to the garden sprinkler…repeatedly.

My plan is if someone could distract Mom, I could whisk Asa into the bathroom and give him a quick bath.  Ok, so now that I write that I realize that turning on the bathtub facet without thumbs may prove difficult.  No problem!  While one of our dear readers distracts Mom, perhaps another could come over and help with Asa’s bath.  Oh but we’d need help opening the door, and she may notice the extra car in the driveway.  Ok, here’s the new plan, I’ll just hide Asa somewhere while he dries.  Oh but then wherever he hides will get muddy, and Mom will know something happened.

Wait!  I’ve got it!  Forget hiding Asa.  Instead we tell Mom that a mud tidal wave appeared out of nowhere, and Asa valiantly put himself between me and it to protect me!  But wait, why should Asa get to be the hero in this tale?  Ok, so here’s the story.  A mud tsunami appeared out of nowhere and while I was able to outrun it, Asa got caught up in it, but I rescued him!  Yes, brilliant!  But then again, if something so out of the ordinary as a mud tsunami appeared in our backyard, Mom would question why there wasn’t so much of a hint of mud anywhere except for on Asa.

Sorry Asa, you’re on your own for this one.  This reminds me of that ’80s jingle that Dad sings from time to time.

When you tell one lie, it leads to another

So you tell two lies to cover each other

Then you tell three lies and, Oh Brother,

You’re in trouble up to your ears!

Asa here.  I’m more of a Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff kind of dog.  So I’m really not worried if I have to get yet another bath.  Besides, on this hot day it would feel nice.  Now if I could just get that silly song Chuck Billy is singing out of my head!