It’s time for every Dog’s favorite game show, “Ball or Pumpkin!” The game of chance inspired by the bite marks on Mom’s fall decorations. In this challenging game of wit if you choose correctly you will win endless hours of fetch for tail wagging fun! But choose wrong and there’s no fetch for you! Are you ready to take that chance? Think you know the difference between our toys and Mom’s knickknacks?! Then it’s time to play “Ball or Pumpkin!” Note to reader: this post is best enjoyed while humming game show music in your head.
Welcome Asa! Tell us a little bit about yourself. “Well, Chuck Billy, I’m a Golden Retriever, living in Maine, with an older brother who is easily amused by silly games.” Interesting. Your brother sounds fascinating! You, not so much, but I’ll make it work. Now Asa, two items will be put in front of you, and you’ll need to decide which one is the ball. There will be three rounds and a bonus round, each with increasing difficulty. Ready? “Do I have a choice?” No. Now let’s play!
Congratulations, you got the first round correct. That is indeed a tennis ball. But how about if they are the same size? Oh, and don’t forget you’ll be disqualified if you test for squeakers. “Bring it on!”
What if I add words to the Jeopardy tune? Thinking, thinking, Asa’s thinking… “Whatever. It’s this one.” Is that your final answer?
You are correct! Note to readers: please imagine thunderous applause from our live studio audience, namely Mom and Dad. We’ll pause in the excitement for a word from our sponsors…what? We have no sponsors? Well then back to the action!
I told you it was challenging! “No, not really. I’m just getting bored.” Well sadly for you, there are no life lines. So choose wisely…dramatic pause…whether you play fetch ever again may weigh on this decision.
Congratulations Asa! You got all three rounds correct! Now you can stop here and go outside and play fetch. Or you can gamble it all and play the bonus round. Which will it be? “Well Dad just wandered off, and Mom is scrolling through Netflix, so I guess I’ll play one more round while I wait for Dad to return.”
I added suspense for our viewers. “Seriously, suspense? Viewers?! It’s only Mom and Dad, and Dad left already.” Just choose!
WRONG! Asa you have lost “Ball or Pumpkin!” No fetch for you! “Wait, not fair! Neither one of us likes that red ball. You even wrote a blog post about it. I’ve been tricked!” Sorry Asa, rules are rules. Besides, Mom found something good to watch on TV. Tune in this December when we play “Ball or Ornament!” Note to reader: you can stop humming game show music now.