Well this is awkward. While I, the renowned Dog Ufologist, was out investigating Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, extraterrestrials built a bunker underneath my paws in my own yard! Even more embarrassing, it took a visit from a Man in Black to not only make me aware of the situation, but rescue me from it.

It all began one morning last week when I discovered a cement bunker in my backyard. At first I assumed it was the portal I’ve been searching for, and therefore instructed Asa sit on it to see where it would lead.

When nothing happened to him, I went in for a closer look, only to realize it was an alien bunker!

While upstairs researching my next move, a strange vehicle appeared slowly backing down my driveway. Startled by the beeping noise, (extraterrestrials know how I hate beeping!), I raced downstairs for a closer look.

That’s when the Man in Black appeared, a quasi-government agent, sent to silence UFO witnesses…or investigators, such as myself! He wasn’t dressed in a black suit, as I imagined they all wore based on the UFO movies and conspiracy theories I’ve watched over the years. Instead he wore a black hoodie. Well played blending in with regular Mainers!

Despite my barking, he went right to work, without acknowledging me, removing the bunker’s lid and placing a hose into it. Alright, I admit, I thought it was a giant snake and panicked for a moment there. Along with beeping, snakes are also my kryptonite.

Then I realized the Man in the Black Hoodie was removing the extraterrestrials from their hidden bunker, and putting them into that special truck. Was he going to transport them to their underground headquarters at Dulce, New Mexico? Or perhaps the alien conspiracy theorists were wrong, and the top secret subterranean Alien facility isn’t located under the Archuleta Mesa near the town of Dulce, New Mexico? It is located here in my backyard!

Thank you, mysterious visitor for watching my back! I promise to keep a closer guard on activity in my backyard while continuing my quest for answers!