Tomorrow is the four year anniversary of Asa coming to live with us. Time to do another job evaluation! Back when Asa first joined our family, I wanted to make sure Asa wasn’t some sort of a slacker. So I would periodically review his role within our family. However, I guess it’s me who’s been slacking off, because I haven’t done a follow-up performance review for two years! So without further ado, I’ll be asking my little brother the same questions that I did for his First 100 Days Review, and subsequent interviews. Please note: the opinions expressed by Asa do not necessarily reflect those of Living with a Golden.

Chuck Billy: How do you see your role in this family?

Asa: Whereas you’re the CEO of our little family, I see myself as the CHO, Chief Happiness Officer. My job is to be happy no matter what is going on around us. I’m here to remind you not to take life too serious. Whether it’s writing a parody to sing with Mom on our walks, keeping Dad laughing with my goofy jokes, or simply playing with you, I like to think I do a great job keeping everyone in a happy mood.

In fact, I see my role in the family as complimentary to your more serious side. My happy-go-lucky approach to life, combined with my comedic timing, tends to lighten the mood, especially when you’re throwing one of your tantrums. However, before you go accusing me of not taking life serious, I’d like to point out that I’m more of a realist than you. You can’t deny that you do overreact from time to time, and some of your dog ufologist theories are a bit far fetched.

Chuck Billy: Speaking of fetch, what are your greatest accomplishments so far?

Asa: Nice job deflecting by changing the topic! Yes, fetch is one of my greatest accomplishments. Thanks to my dedication to the sport, Mom’s throwing arm has vastly improved in 4 years. In fact, due to my coaching, she can even throw well with either arm now. Also I credit my love of the game for keeping you active. I couldn’t help but notice you have quite a competitive spirit. By improving my speed, eye and mouth coordination, I’m indirectly forcing you to do the same in your quest to get the ball first. Let’s face it, there are times when you just want to lay in the sun. Yet all I need to do is squeak the ball and you’re off to the races trying to beat me at our favorite game. However, winning isn’t everything to me, so I always make sure you get the ball first more often than not. No need to thank me, I know it means a lot to you. We’re all winners here!

Another accomplishment I’m proud of is giving Mom and Dad’s trainer a new perspective on life. Boy does that guy needs to laugh more. So when you accuse me of not paying attention in class, I’m just trying to make it more fun. Don’t tell their trainer, but I’ve seen him crack a smile. Also I know when he suddenly has to leave the room it’s because he wants to laugh at some of my more outlandish moments. It’s just obedience training, we’re not trying to solve world peace here! Laugh a little!

Chuck Billy: I admit it is funny when you make Mom and Dad’s trainer lose his concentration and laugh. In addition to training Mom and Dad, what are your other goals for this year?

Asa: Wow, where to begin on that one? Well one goal I’d like to achieve is to visit more places. In four years I have been to four states. But I’m realizing the world is a very big place, and I haven’t made a dent in exploring it all. My goal for 2019 is to see even more places! Climb more mountains! Swim in more lakes! Explore more beaches! In short, I want to go on more adventures! However, considering we’ve reviewed over 100 dog friendly places already, I know that goal is easily attainable.

I suppose to challenge myself I’ll continue my quest to bring back Vaudeville! Make ’em laugh is my philosophy! Also being the opening act for Bon Jovi would be a pretty sweet gig. I guess my biggest goal for the coming year though would be to fulfill my destiny of becoming a Dire Wolf. Oh and if I have time I’d like to improve my leadership, communications, motivational, and inspirational skills.

Chuck Billy: Ok, now you’re just being ridiculous. I’m reluctant to ask, but is there anything that Mom, Dad and I can do better?

Asa: No offense, but there’s always room for improvement. Can you please just chill out a bit? The squirrels, deer, and turkeys are not forming an unholy alliance and planning to lay siege on our home every time they appear in our yard. Can you at least count to five and take a deep breath before barking at them? Ok, that was harsh. I know you take your job as guard dog very serious, and I appreciate your dedication.

Perhaps something more within reason would be refraining from destroying my toys. They are not a threat, and we should be able to coexist. It’s not fair that my stuffed animals have to hide, and only come out to play when you’re not in a “mood.” Has it ever occurred to you that I may want to hangout with my toys more often without the fear you’ll kill them right in front of me? Maybe you could try making friends with them too? Let’s start 2019 with a new motto – Squeak More! Destroy Less!

Something else that’s been bothering me is when do I get to be a member of the exclusive Dump Day Club? I really look forward to joining you and Dad on that weekly trip to bring the garbage to the town dump? You’ve told me there’s a waiting list to join, but after three years I’m beginning to wonder.

As for Mom and Dad, more play, less work, and definitely more treats would be appreciated. I think they waste way too much time planning, and not enough time seizing the day! They really need to work on their spontaneity. To be fair, I guess that’s just me being fussy though, because with the subfreezing temperatures lately, I admit even I want to stay inside. I’m sure they’ll pick up the pace of our adventures once things thaw out.

However, while we’re waiting around to answer the call of adventure, would it really be that bad if Mom and Dad let us sit on the couch with them? That no dogs on the furniture rule is just ridiculous. Look at that couch, it’s already covered in dog fur! Why not welcome an actual dog on it? Sure it’s nice when Mom and Dad sit on our dog bed with us, but perhaps maybe they could stay on the floor and let us enjoy the couch from time to time?

Chuck Billy: Interesting suggestion about the couch. I’ll speak to Mom and Dad’s trainer about that concern. Anything else you’d like to add?

Asa: Well I wasn’t going to bring it up again, but I couldn’t help but notice you still haven’t given me my own weekly column on the blog. Give the world what they want – my own column! Seriously, I’ve got a lot to say about living with you. This whole Living with a Golden theme works both ways you know!

Chuck Billy: Oh look at the time! This ends your four year job review. Oh and once again, opinions expressed by Asa definitely do NOT reflect those of myself or my parents!