Halloween may be over, but dogs across the nation faced something even scarier this past weekend, Daylight Saving Time, in which humans insist on serving our dinners one hour late! To drive the point home that this is more than inconvenience, but a true horror for dogs, Asa has written a parody of the scariest song he knows, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” How he got Vincent Price back from the dead to recite his solo, I don’t dare ask, but please enjoy this song of fright and make a point of serving meals on time tonight!
It’s close to dinner and there’s no kibble in your bowl just yet
Inside the kitchen you see a sight that almost makes you bark
You start to whine but no one hears your cry of desperation
You can’t believe the time on the clock is set an hour wrong,
You’re gonna starve!
‘Cause this is dinner, dinner time
And no one’s gonna say that your tummy isn’t right
You know it’s dinner, dinner time
You’re barking for your life because you’re gettin’ dinner tonight
You hear Mom typin’ and realize she has no clue on the time
You feel the rumble and wonder if you’ll ever will be fed
You start to pace and hope that Mom will see your indignation,
But all the while you hear a grumbling in your belly
It’s dinner time
‘Cause this is dinner, dinner time
There ain’t no seconds late when you know the precise time, Mom
Dinner, dinner time
You’re barking for your life because you’re gettin’ thinner, dinner
Now someone calls
And Mom starts to chat ignorin’ you again
There’s no escaping the jaws of the Golden Retriever (they’re open wide)
This is my dinner time
They will dismiss you unless you fix the number on that clock
They will ignore you unless you change that time on the dial
Now is the time you wish that you had thumbs to make these changes
You’ll stare at Mom and save her from the error of the time,
You’ll make her see
That this is dinner, dinner time
‘Cause you run on Golden Standard Time and Daylight Saving ain’t right, no
Dinner, dinner time
So let me set you right and share a nibble, dribble, kibble
Dinner time
‘Cause this is dinner, dinner time
Mom, I can bark more than you can ignore don’t even try
Dinner, dinner time
So let me set you right and share a nibble, kibble
I’m gonna eat right now
[Vincent Price:]
Darkness falls across the land
The dinner hour is close at hand
Clocks may change to the wrong time
Which really is the biggest crime
And whomsoever shall be found
Without putting the food bowl down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And listen to our barking yell
[Asa:]
It’s dinner time tonight…
[Vincent Price:]
The rudest bark is in your ear
This is the time in my dog years
And grisly growls fill the room
As I pace and run and zoom
And though you fight to keep the time
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The mealtime of dog dinner!
[Maniacal laugh, echoing into empty dinner bowl]
