Last week I shared that as a puppy I showed great promise as a Shoe Efficiency Expert. Therefore, I’m sure it will come as no surprise that I also spent time working as a Branch Management Engineer. As you know I take my responsibilities on neighborhood patrol very serious. However, back when I was young there weren’t as many houses in my neighborhood to protect. Therefore while walking the long stretches without houses, I would pick up a stick or two on the side of the road and carry it with me to help with neighborhood clean up.
Some sticks were small and easily manageable. Others were quite large, and required my brother Lemmy to grab hold and carry it with me. Ok, truth me told, I wasn’t good with spatial reasoning back then. Lemmy may have volunteered to help simply to prevent himself from getting knocked on the head with a log. Also once or twice he may have been annoyed and took my stick away from me. Just between you and me, Lemmy was jealous he didn’t get promoted to Branch Manager first.
In addition to Lemmy, another helper during those early days was a boy who lived down the street. I often walked past his house with my stick when he was getting off the school bus in the afternoon. Well it didn’t take long for him to realize we’d make a good team. Whenever he did yard work, he would leave the sticks piled at the edge of his yard, perfect for me to pick up and bring home on my two daily walks. I had his yard cleaned in no time! I bet his Dad, who now does that chore, wonders how his son got rid of the sticks so quickly and efficiently.
Which brings me to the question, what did I do with these sticks? After each walk I would drop them at the end of my driveway, with only the choicest of branches being welcomed into my backyard for further inspection. Not to brag, but that pile was quite a feat of engineering come springtime after all the winter storms and March winds littered the neighborhood with countless sticks. However, I knew I couldn’t keep them all. That’s when Dad would make a big bonfire in our yard and host a party in my honor for a job well done!
I’ve since retired though from my position as Branch Management Engineer. Our neighborhood has grown larger, and my patrol duties have doubled with more important things to be on alert for than sticks, such as hawks who drop mice and steal poop bags. In addition, when Asa eventually joined me on patrol, he required a lot of on the job training. In fact, he still does, requiring my full concentration. Also now that I finally trained Mom and Dad to walk at a heel, I realized it was impossible to carry a stick at their side without the risk of banging their kneecaps! Mom really needs to be more aware of personal space, and not drifting into mine. However, I’m happy to report since the pandemic I’ve noticed a new dog has taken over this responsibility. I’ve yet to properly thank him, but it makes my tail wag each time I see him walk by my house with a new stick.
