Asa here. Chuck Billy put me in charge of today’s post because he’s trapped in the backyard. This may come as a shock, but my supposedly fearless big brother, like all superheroes, does have one tragic flaw that renders him powerless. Chuck Billy’s kryptonite is Snakes. One slithered past him in the tall grass this morning, and now he is paranoid to leave his dirt patch. This isn’t the first time this has happened. So while I watch as Mom tries to coax Chuck Billy inside, here’s an account from 2015 of a similar incident with a visiting Snake. Paws crossed by the time you’re done reading, Super Dog will be over this irrational fear and I can play outside again.
THE INTRUDER: PICK YOUR OWN ENDING
Editor’s Note: The following are two accounts of the same event. We’ll leave it up to the reader to decide where the truth lies…
Chuck Billy: As soon as I entered the garage my nose alerted me that something wasn’t right. I immediately went to work sniffing the area trying to pinpoint the source. A quick search of the car’s perimeter told me that it was safe. A survey of my toys also proved futile. By that point Mom was getting impatient and ordered me outside. That’s when I saw him! There was a Snake in my garage! But alas I was already outside and there was the Snake blocking me from Mom! How could I protect her?! It was at this moment that Asa noticed the intruder. But does he help in the situation? Nope. In an act of true innocence he simply jumped over the Snake in the doorway and went back into the house. I guess that’s the best I could hope for from someone so young. He couldn’t possibly fathom the seriousness of the situation, nor help me protect my kingdom. But I guess it was good he went inside. All this excitement had me pretty rattled and I needed to relieve myself before taking action, so he was one less thing to worry about. After answering nature’s call and collecting my thoughts, I came up with a plan. I decided the best course of action was to bark at the Snake. Much to my horror though he didn’t exit the garage! Instead he slithered into a dark foreboding corner! What to do?! At this point Mom was getting even more impatient and ordered me inside. Clearly she did not understand the gravity of the situation. But sensing she needed to be protected, I left my post and guided her safely inside through a different door. You may have won this round Snake, but I’ll be back!
Asa: We entered the garage, and for some reason Chuck Billy decided to be very rude and not say hello to our guest. While he was running around sniffing, I welcomed the Snake and apologized for my brother’s behavior. With all the recent rain, it was nice that he found shelter in our garage. Next I excused myself and trotted past the Snake so I could eat a few dandelions, still wondering what all the fuss was about with Chuck Billy. No wonder so few neighbors come to visit! By this point Chuck Billy finally noticed my new best friend, but was looking at him in the most fearful way. Not wanting to miss my dinner, I hopped over the Snake and headed inside. But since Chuck Billy’s behavior distracted Mom from serving it, I had to content myself by watching his rude behavior. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to bark at our houseguest, forcing the poor waterlogged Snake to seek comfort from the Spiders who live in the corner. But what Chuck Billy did next was down right hilarious! He was too scared to come back in through that door and forced Mom to walk him around to a different one! How funny is that?! That’s my big brave brother!! The rest of the evening he paced by the door muttering about how he had to “protect his kingdom from the Snake.” But when it was time to go out again, Chuck Billy refused to exit the house that way and Dad had to walk him around to a different door again! Yet he’s the one who claims to be a Golden Wolf and protector of our family?!
Chuck Billy’s standoff with the Snake in 2015.
“Don’t move, Asa! I think I see the Snake hiding over there!” Super Dog – HA!
