Valentine’s Day can be difficult. Especially if your true love is a squeaky toy. So I’m wrapping up this week with a song parody I wrote way back in 2017, inspired by a squeaky alligator that I loved and lost. Although Chuck Billy was the reason for this heartache, to this day he continues to refuse to sing with me my parody of “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before,” like the chart topping duet by Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson. Guess Chuck Billy still can’t accept that sometimes love has consequences. Today I dedicate this song to all the toys that I’ve loved before, but squeak no more. I promise you will never be forgotten.

To all the toys I’ve loved before

Who no longer squeak anymore

I’m glad you came along

I dedicate this song

To all the toys I’ve loved before

To all the teething toys I’ve chewed

I’m sorry if my puppy teeth hurt you

Thanks for helping me to grow

You taught me everything I know

To all the toys I’ve loved before

Chuck Billy’s wolf instincts are always growling

And every time I tried to play

The wolf in him continued growling

And Chuck Billy just carried you away

To all the toys I’ve chased before

I enjoyed playing with you outdoors

Our countless games of fetch

Were certainly the best

To all the toys I’ve loved before

To all the toys destroyed by Chuck Billy

I don’t know why he acts so silly

These toys were my good friends

I loved them to the end

To all the toys I’ve loved before

Chuck Billy’s wolf instincts are always growling

And every time I tried to play

The wolf in him continued growling

And Chuck Billy just carried you away

To all the toys I’ve loved before

Who no longer squeak anymore

I’m glad you came along

I dedicate this song

To all the toys I’ve loved before!