Exactly one year ago, my veterinarian said to me the words that no dog wants to hear, “diet.”  Yes, despite all my neighborhood patrols, hikes, beach romps, and endless rounds of fetch, I somehow managed to put on a few extra pounds.  Well I’m happy to report at this year’s annual physical he was very pleased with the amount of weight I lost.  However, little did Dr. Doug realize by putting me on a diet there would be far reaching consequences that not only effected my family it hurt the economy!

Prior to my diet, Dad would share his snacks with me every evening.  However, after Dr. Doug’s diagnosis that bonding ritual came to an end, and Dad had to eat it all himself.  It didn’t take long to realize that while I was shedding the pounds, he was gaining them!  All because I wasn’t allowed to teach Dad portion control.  Now he’s the one doing extra sit-ups trying to get back into shape.  Sorry Dad, totally not my fault.  Blame Dr. Doug!

Dad gaining a few extra pounds was the least of our problems.  Another unforeseen consequence of my diet was our dishwasher caught on fire!  Mom and Dad prevented me from pre-rinsing the dishes with a few tasty licks.  So all those blobs of mayonnaise on spoons, gobs of melted cheese stuck on pans, and bits of barbecue smothered chicken on plates all built up, causing the dishwasher to burst into flames!  Dr. Doug, this diet endangered the safety of my family!

Not only did this diet effect my family, it hurt the dog food industry!  Mom and Dad started feeding me smaller portions, which meant bags of food lasted longer.  Next thing we knew the dog food that I’ve been eating for years was discontinued!  My diet made them lose money and they were forced to stop making it!  That’s the only logical explanation of why they would stop production of such delicious kibble.  Dr. Doug, you should feel ashamed of yourself making countless dogs across the country go without their favorite food all because you thought I should lose a few pounds.

So let this be a lesson, not only to Dr. Doug but to all veterinarians everywhere, that your actions have repercussions!  Before telling a dog that they should lose a few pounds, you need to weigh the pros and cons of ALL the far reaching consequences this could have on their family and the economy!  Ok, so my diet did help boost the economy because Dad was forced to buy Mom a new dishwasher.  But that’s besides the point.  Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to boost the struggling dog treat industry by celebrating that I’m back to an “ideal weight!”