Sadly we were told by our mechanic that Dad’s 19 year old car is beyond repair. Thus begins our quest to purchase a new car, something which Dad is somewhat prepared for and already has a spreadsheet of various makes and models to examine. However, being Helicopter Dog Parents, this means they are asking questions that your typical car buyers do not. In case you’re not familiar with the term “Helicopter Dog Parent,” Wikipedia defines it for children as, “A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.” Yep, that pretty much sums up Mom and Dad. However, the fact that they are known as overindulgent dog parents works in our favor, especially when buying a vehicle. It just doesn’t help the car salespeople who have to endure their questions.

Now unlike most car buyers who arrive at the dealership and ask questions such as safety features, latest technology, engine type, maintenance, or even availability, our parents come with questions unique to our needs. Their biggest priority is the cargo space. After all we enjoy the safety of our crash-tested Variocage travel crate, and want to make sure it fits. Clearly based on the surprised looks on the sales representatives, cargo space and a tape measure usually aren’t how these conversations start, at least for the vehicles Mom and Dad want to see. Now for some models they are considering, the followup question then becomes do the rear seats fold down flat or at an angle? For long car rides, Asa and I don’t want to be uncomfortable sitting in our crate at an angle, even a slight one. Again, based on the expressions of the dealers, this isn’t usually the second question. At this point, they politely ask what exactly do we use the cargo space for, and tend to smile when they hear these concerns are about traveling with dogs.

For the cars that meet the requirements of the space and are level, they then measure the jump height. If it is too high, the conversation then turns to space for adding folding stairs and/or ramp to the cargo area or backseat. This is totally out of the salesperson’s control, so that is usually a conversation between Mom and Dad. Also included in their inspection is in addition to the hatchback, are there side windows in the back and how big are they? This concern is a holdover from Lemmy who use to get car sick, and needed to be able to look out the window on all sides. The observant dealer will at this point jump back into the conversation by showing shades that can be used on the second row windows, or will comment on the tinted windows.

Once these are discussed, they turn back to the amused dealer and ask is there separate AC vents for the cargo area, or is there an AC outlet to plug in a fan. Around this time, there is also a quick question about a spare tire or a path kit. Because having a flat on the side of the highway with two dogs brings with it its own set of issues. This is also usually the point where Dad asks if roof rails are standard or can be added, to accommodate our cargo carrier on really long trips. Here the salesperson usually asks one of two things. How far do you travel with your dogs, or what kind of dogs do you have? After a happy response, which may or may not include photos of us, they move on to the front of the car.

This is when the sales representatives feel a lot more comfortable and begin telling all the safety features of the vehicle. But soon find themselves answering dog related concerns of can the safety alerts be visual only? Is there an option to mute, or lower the beeping sound? And finally depending on the model, they confirm if safety features may be turned off to end the beeping that will drive the dogs crazy. Undaunted, the seasoned car salespeople will carry on to explain other features, while the newer ones (and yes Mom and Dad got two who are in training) will simply ask, “so how about a test drive?” Quickly followed by, “and I don’t need to come with you!” At which point they must breathe a sigh of relief for the brief respite from the strange questions, as Mom and Dad happily drive off in the car, while no doubt wondering will they return with the dogs. When they do return, Mom and Dad are often greeted by the dealership manager, with a hearty, “so I hear you have dogs!”

This is how the search has gone so far. They still have more makes and models on Dad’s spreadsheet to examine. So at this point Asa and I would like to extend out heartfelt apologies to the car salespeople for the rather unique questions. We’d especially like to tell the person who has only been on the job for three days, hang in there! After Mom and Dad’s visit, you’re now ready for anything that someone may ask after that odd on-the-job training!

Variocage, the crate that no car salesperson will forget about after a visit from Mom and Dad!