On Monday I revealed how Asa and I may have taken advantage of Mom’s good nature while Dad was away last week. Our brother, angel Lemmy, had a much different reaction back in his day. All Lemmy wanted in life was to have his routine, for things to stay as is right down to the knickknacks on the fireplace mantle, and most importantly for his little family to be together. So he took it very hard when Dad occasionally traveled for work back then. Lemmy would methodically go through his five stages of separation while Dad was away, with each day breaking Mom’s heart as she tried to bring him comfort.
Stage 1: On the day Dad would leave, Lemmy would be oblivious of his absence most of the day. He never seemed to notice the obvious clue that Dad left with a suitcase. It wasn’t until bedtime when he didn’t come home that Lemmy would get concerned, and would insist on waiting by the back door. After all, when not traveling Dad often worked long hours, so there was the possibility he may have just been late.
Stage 2: By the second day Lemmy would awake all flustered. Surely Dad must have sneaked into the house while he dozed off! This would result in Lemmy repeatedly searching the house. He would even make Mom open the attic and basement doors for him in case Dad was for some reason hiding there. For those who didn’t know Lemmy, he was not a fan of stairs. So his insistence on personally checking the attic and basement proved he was not going to leave any stones unturned. And yes, his search also included the yard and the occasional rock too. Searching for Dad was the utmost importance, to the point that Lemmy would refuse to eat. Even as a puppy, I was amazed at how he would be stubborn enough to not eat for days. Not even the delicious treats Mom added to his meals would tempt him to end his hunger strike. Now that’s dedication to the cause!
Stage 3: After spending an entire day searching and determining that Dad was not in the house or yard, by the third day Lemmy would focus his attention on the neighbors. They must be holding Dad hostage next door! Therefore Lemmy would stand at the fence facing their house, and would bark…relentlessly. But to no avail. Again, for those who didn’t know Lemmy, he was genuinely a very quiet dog, without a mean bone in his body. It took a lot for him to bark. So for him to stand at that fence barking, and refusing to come inside meant he was ready to do anything to get his Dad home where he belonged. But he also had his limits. Despite his suspicions that Dad may be held hostage at the neighbors’, Lemmy would refuse to go for walks to investigate. After all, he didn’t want to miss Dad’s return.
Stage 4: By the fourth day Lemmy would reluctantly accept Dad’s absence, and would test Mom to see if he could get away with new things. He would sit on the couch, eat tissues from the waste basket, and even once went so far as to steal Mom’s favorite teddy bear! But each transgression didn’t make him feel any better. In fact, it may have made him feel worse. After all, Lemmy was a good boy, who was an even bigger stickler for the rules than I am. Adding to his frustration, when he did act out Mom would either laugh or just take comfort that despite all his tantrums, Lemmy was finally eating his meals again and not looking so sad.
Stage 5: On the fifth day after going through the motions of his normal routine, Lemmy would just sit quietly watching the back door waiting for Dad to return. Not even his favorite game of “Har! Har! I have the ball and you don’t,” could make him happy. Mom and I spent many an afternoon quietly sitting on that kitchen floor with him. Lemmy was not going to be distracted and miss Dad’s triumphant return.
Luckily for Lemmy, Dad’s trips rarely lasted more than a week. On the rare occasion they did, like clockwork he would begin the pattern all over again on day 7! So if anyone claims that dogs can’t count days, Lemmy is proof otherwise. Sure on some of these trips, Grandpa would visit, which brought Lemmy great comfort. But inevitably, he’d have to leave too, and Lemmy would return to whichever stage of separation he left off at. As for me, I quickly realized as a puppy to ignore Lemmy, and go straight to Stage 4, but with more finesse. I wanted to show Lemmy that this could be fun, as I systematically broke every rule I could think of, and even led to the creation of a few new ones! But unlike Lemmy who got sympathy from Mom, this only led to me having a timeout in my crate. Hence why now that I’m older and wiser I’ve found new ways to manipulate the situation to my advantage leaving Mom none the wiser.
I’m really thankful that shortly after Asa joined our family Dad stopped traveling for work. In fact he changed careers completely, so he could be home with us. Mom did too. Perhaps that’s why on the rare occasion Dad does go away now, Asa barely reacts, and just goes about his day. Whereas I make sure to give Dad the biggest welcome home, so he’ll know just how much he was missed. Lemmy would have loved our schedule now. I hope Asa realizes how lucky he is to have Dad home on a regular basis. Although I do admit occasionally bending Mom’s Rules is a lot of fun too.
