Mom, I can explain!  I know this looks like I’m bullying Asa, but looks can be deceiving!  I have an absolutely credible reason for what you just saw.  Ummm, let’s see, I was watching Star Trek with Dad and wanted to see if that Vulcan Mind Meld trick really works!  You always say Asa and I are really close.  Wouldn’t the next logical step be to try to merge my brilliant mind with his?  Ok, I can see you shaking your head, “no.”

That’s because you caught me!  For months now I’ve been keeping a secret that I’m actually a zombie dog!  I didn’t want to worry you by telling you the truth.  While out on neighborhood patrol I protected Dad and Asa from a zombie attack, but got scratched in the process, and now I’m a zombie.  I’ve been trying to ignore my desire to eat brains, but my hunger got the better of me.  Again, I can see you shaking your head in disbelief.

Well why would you believe that silly excuse?  Clearly the reason why I appear to be attempting to to make a snack out of Asa is because I want to learn more about snakes!  You make fun of me for being afraid of snakes.  So I thought I’d try to see the world from their point of view, while simultaneously teaching Asa about the dangers of snakes.  How is he ever going to understand what a threat they are if I don’t show him?  No?  Not accepting that excuse either?  Well I don’t know what else to tell you!

[Asa’s Confession: Chuck Billy yawned while waking up from his nap, and I surprised him by putting my nose in his mouth. I was just checking to see if he ate anything good lately. That’s all. I’m not sure why Chuck Billy came up with all those excuses!  Guilty conscience, perhaps?  But yes, looks really can be deceiving!  And Grandma & Babci, I’m ok.  I wasn’t hurt.]