New Year’s Eve is the party event of the year for dogs, second only to Super Bowl Sunday. But unlike the Super Bowl where party guests are all focused on the TV, making it easy for Asa and myself to let loose and sneak a snack here and there, New Year’s brings with it a unique set of challenges. The lack of a unifying distraction makes people more aware of our presence at the party. Which in turn makes Mom and Dad take critical notice of our actions. But fear not! Asa and I each have a plan for receiving the optimal amount of party treats and making our New Year dreams come true!
When we arrive at the party I will survey the guests to see who are socially awkward. They are easily recognizable because they are the ones who are having trouble mingling, and they tend to stand by the buffet table nervously eating. When they see a dog they usually cling to the dog for the rest of the evening and share their food. Thus making it the ideal way to celebrate the New Year for both me and those shy party guests.
Asa, on the other paw, will be searching for the people who over compensate for the lack of a date by making an unsuspecting dog their new best friend. That person likes to be the life of the party by attracting a lot of attention to themselves. So whereas the socially awkward guest will quietly talk to me and let me have a nibble of food here or there while going unnoticed by others; the intoxicated dateless guest is more likely to take Asa for a twirl on the dance floor, sing a duet or two with him, and perhaps even laugh at his jokes. This usually culminates in Asa and that person loudly declaring their devotion to each other, and a kiss at midnight. Now don’t get me wrong, on a normal day I would love all that attention. However, remember I’m on a mission here to get the optimal amount of food! There are mini-meatballs, crudités, and cheese platters to be had!
The only glitch with our plan is if Mom and Dad notice Asa dancing the night away, they will soon be looking to see how I’m celebrating. This is where we run the risk of them asking the person to stop feeding me, and telling Asa he needs to tone it down! So our backup plan is to hide under the buffet table and wait for folks to accidentally drop food. Asa may not be dancing, but food is a wonderful substitute. This is going to be the BEST night ever!
