I make it a point to always read the fine print when looking for a dog friendly vacation rental.  Although a place may claim to be a pet friendly summer cottage, some rental properties are very specific about what they will allow.  Most have rather routine rules.  However, while recently researching where we’ll stay this summer, I found a few odd restrictions that I’ve never seen before.  I won’t reveal the name of the rental agency because they do have some very charming cottages, and the dogs they allow are very fortunate.  But for wags and giggles, let’s review their “dog friendly” rules.

First off, for the sake of comparison, here are some of the more common pet friendly restrictions used by other summer rental properties.  Most have restrictions on the number of dogs, so anything under 2 is off the list for Asa and me.  Other places have weight limits.  For example, dogs must be a combined weight of under 20 pounds.  I don’t think Asa’s head alone is under 20 pounds!  Others require that dogs stay off the furniture.  We’re not allowed on the furniture at home, so we understand.  And all the places we’ve seen have rules about not leaving dogs unattended for the day.  These are all perfectly common restrictions that I’ve seen before.

Shedding is also a common concern.  I’ve seen numerous rental agreements that charge an extra cleaning fee for dogs.  Once we stayed at a cottage that required dog owners to vacuum thoroughly before checking out.  But never have I seen dog breeds specifically banned from staying because of shedding, until now. “For the most part, the dogs we allow are the types that won’t shed a lot. We don’t like to allow heavy shedding dogs, like labs, because our worst shedding ‘incidents’ have come from them.”  I find this very insulting.  Clearly whoever wrote this policy never met a Golden Retriever if they only specifically single out Labrador Retrievers.  Fur hath no fury like a shedding Golden Retriever!

However, after reading a bit further I was pleased to see they do compliment Goldens for our above average shedding skills.  “We have shedding concerns about Black/Yellow Labs, Golden Retrievers, Bernese Mountain Dogs, Corgis and Newfoundlands.  In the past, we have seen Guests bring these dog breeds to stay in our rental properties and leave us with lots of pet hair to clean up.”  Good news Chocolate Labs, you can stay but your Black/Yellow siblings can’t!  Wow, that’s a very specific list.  No word though on mixed breed dogs.  Do those owners need to supply DNA results in order for them to stay?  Anyways, since they are “concerned” about Golden Retrievers, we won’t be staying there.

Nevertheless, it isn’t their stance on shedding that amused me the most in their pet friendly policy.  It’s their list of which animals that they don’t allow.  “We only consider DOGS at our Pet-Friendly Properties, never cats, monkeys, snakes, birds, mice, gerbils, etc.”  I would love to know the backstory as to why MONKEYS are banned from their cottages!  Not only are they banned, they are listed as the second animal after cats, as if a lot of people vacation with monkeys.  Well truth be told, we do vacation with a monkey.  Mom has a stuffed monkey that lives in her car and acts as her copilot.  I wonder if this ban on monkeys includes the stuffed variety?  If so, that immediately eliminates us from staying there.  However, I’m happy to know we’re not the only family who vacations with a monkey!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this amusing reminder to always read the fine print for pet friendly vacation properties.  While I await the next snowstorm headed our way, I’m going to continue my search to find the perfect place for Asa and I to enjoy on our summer vacation.  That is if Mother Nature cooperates and actually makes it stop snowing long enough so summer will get here!