For years now my family has mocked me for protecting them from imaginary threats. However, now that I have definitive proof that they exist, my family is finally taking my barking serious.
It all began last Saturday when a mysterious black line appeared in our backyard. The line began in the center of the yard and meandered it’s way towards the fence, before abruptly disappearing about two feet away from it. At first my family ignored the line. That is until the next day it appeared again in a different spot!
This time the odd line began about ten feet away from the star on our fence, crossed over the location of the first line like an X, and headed in the direction of our house! Even more disturbing was the line from the previous day had completely disappeared leaving no trace of it. No one could ignore it anymore!
Dad theorized that the rain must have caused the estimated two to three inch wide line that was approximately 25 feet in length. Yet there was no heavy rain for two days leading up to it’s appearance on Saturday, nor did it rain on Sunday to cause a second even longer line to appear. Also it was not wet to the touch. Not to mention the obvious fact of we’ve never had a line appear after raining before. He then said that the voles, who are always tunneling under our yard, must have caused it. However, again this can be disproved. I know after years of dealing with these incessant diggers that their trails are usually marked with mounds of dirt, and when stepped on are squishy. Here the dirt is solid with no signs of tampering underneath it. Also vole tracks don’t disappear in a day.
Mom suggested that maybe it was an oil leak from when we rented the tractor to do our archeological dig this summer. However, I know for a fact the tractor wasn’t driven anywhere near that area, and there would be lines elsewhere in the yard where we did drive it. Also I can rule out an oil leak from the lawnmower, because that hasn’t been used for weeks. In fact, Mom usually only uses an old fashion blade push mower in that area of the yard. Although Mom does seem to wander aimlessly when mowing, even she wouldn’t do that strange meandering pattern like the one here. Besides, if it was mechanical in origin it would have smelled, and I walked over it more than once and my delicate nose never noticed a difference in scent. Also I can rule out Asa with a can of spray paint, because I checked his paws and there are no signs of black paint on him.
This brings me to my two theories. The first is that Aliens are back with their purple laser beam! It has been two years since I’ve seen one of their menacing laser beams pointed at either me or my brother. Below you can see an old file photo of one they aimed at me in 2017 near the spot where the recent lines appeared. To be honest, I hope it is extraterrestrial in origin, because my next theory is too frightening to consider.
My second theory, the one I fear most, is that my yard was visited by an invisible snake! Everyone knows my biggest fear is snakes! What if a ginormous invisible snake is slithering around my yard? We’ll have no choice but to move! But what if it follows me to our new home and we don’t know it! Or what if Asa gives the invisible snake our forwarding address? This is far too scary to contemplate.
Thankfully, it has been a week since these mysterious lines have appeared and disappeared. There has been no trace of them since then. However, I can’t let my guard down! So if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to continue my extra patrol shifts to monitor any further developments. However, if anyone would like to add their own theory of what the cause could be, I’d welcome any and all feedback.
