I have a real whodunit on my paws, that has even I, the great Detective Chuck Billy, baffled. I can’t even come up with a motive! Therefore today I am sharing the details of this open investigation with the public, to see if you can help solve the Case of the Severed Shedding Suet in Situ.

Let me begin with the backstory. Two weeks ago we had a shedding competition in our Golden Games. When asked what to do with the winning fur, Asa immediately wanted to donate it to our feathered friends to make nests. Therefore, the fur was put into a clean suet, as we have done many times before. However, this time was different, in that Mom didn’t have a piece of string handy to hang it on a tree branch. Instead she placed the fur filled suet upright at the edge of the driveway, to remind her to hang it next time she is doing yard work. Well typical of Mom, she got distracted, and forgot about it. That is until this week when she got the string, only to find the container knocked over and the bottom of the suet missing. Who severed the suet? Was it an impatient bird contractor, not willing to simply pluck bits of fur to build a nest mansion? Nonsense! That doesn’t explain why the bottom is completely missing.

Immediately Dad was brought in for questioning. But he denied removing the bottom, or even noticing it was there for that matter. There was further questioning about did he accidentally hit the suet while mowing the lawn. Yet under intense scrutiny he denied going near it, which can also be confirmed by the height of the weeds around it, and the lawn in general. He added though that the bottom of the suet isn’t suppose to easily come off, and that it took force to remove it. Further adding to the mystery, Dad also brought to my attention the fact the top hook of the suet was disengage, making that easier to open, and yet that lid remained attached. Who would go through such herculean efforts to remove the bottom, when opening it by the top is easier? And why?

Asa theorized that maybe his chipmunk friend, who lives in the downspout of the rain gutter next to where the the fur filled suet was placed, needed the bottom as a tiny raft during the heavy rains of Tropical Depression Debby last weekend. A plausible idea that the chipmunk needed a raft. But how would someone so small remove that cap? No, we needed a bigger suet suspect, but who?

A logical next suspect would be the mischievous raccoons known to roam our yard in the cover of darkness. But I’ve seen their handy work many times, and they are not that neat. The suet is in situ, simply knocked over. If this was the raccoons’ handy work, it and the contents would be spread all over the yard. Although some fur has been removed, with traces of wisps around it, this is far too neat to be the raccoons. Speaking of which, while I continued my investigation, Mom searched the immediate area for the cap, and Dad mowed the entire lawn. The cap was not located. Where could it be?

Now normally I’d resort to my backyard portal theory at this point in the investigation, but something seems different here. Only part of the severed suet is missing, not the entire object, as with the pink flamingo who disappeared and reappeared in that area years ago. Also disregarding the missing part, the severed suet is in situ, but some fur has been removed. Did extraterrestrials attempt to retrieve my DNA from the fur? Well the joke is on them, because I lost the Golden Games shedding competition, and the majority of the fur is Asa’s! However, I would appreciate that they return the missing piece, so we can hang our fur filled suet for the birds to use. Although late in the season, birds do like to insulate their nests from the chill of autumn with fur.