Miss Caterpillar brought to Asa’s attention that despite being in a long term relationship he’s never written a love song for her. An oversight he quickly corrected with his parody of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” I’m happy to report that thanks to “Sweet Squeaky O’ Mine,” tabloid rumors of their breakup are grossly inaccurate.

She’s got a squeak that it seems to me
Reminds me of whelping box memories
Where everything was as fresh as my puppy breath
Now and then when I hear her squeak
She takes me away to that special place
And if I squeak too long, she’d probably break down and stop

Whoa, oh, oh
Sweet squeaky o’ mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Sweet toy of mine

She’s got eyes of the strongest threads
As if she ever broke
I’d hate to look into those eyes and know I caused that pain
Her fur reminds me of a tasty treat
That as a puppy I’d chew
And today I still cuddle by my side as if she was still brand new

Whoa, oh, oh
Sweet squeaky o’ mine
Whoa whoa, oh, oh, oh
Sweet toy of mine

Whoa, yeah
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Sweet squeaky o’ mine
Whoa, oh, whoa, oh
Sweet toy of mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Sweet squeaky o’ mine
Ooh, yeah
Ooh, sweet toy of mine

Why don’t you squeak?
Why don’t you squeak now?
Why don’t you squeak?
Ooh, oh, why don’t you squeak?
Why don’t you squeak?
Oh, why don’t you squeak now?
Why don’t you squeak? (Sweet squeaky)
Why don’t you squeak now?
Squeak, squeak, squeak,
Why don’t you squeak now?
Squeak!

Why don’t you squeak?
Oh, why don’t you squeak now?
Oh, why don’t you squeak?
Oh, why don’t you squeak now?
Why don’t you squeak?
Oh, why don’t you squeak now?
Now, now, now, now, now, now, now
Sweet squeaky
Sweet squeaky of mine