Asa and I have swam in the vast ocean and climbed the highest mountains, but who would have guessed our biggest challenge would be a corn maze! Yes, despite being intrepid explorers, back in 2017 Asa and I got lost in a corn maze. My first warning that this wasn’t going to be a typical hike was the the map posted at the trailhead. Now I’ve seen some complicated trails in my day, but this one tops them all. Who designed this thing? But having reviewed countless trails, I wasn’t bothered by this map in the least. Besides, Dad had a plan. We were only going to take right turns.
Excited about this new adventure, we started on the path. However, it didn’t take long for us to realize this was no ordinary trail. Dad’s plan of taking only right turns often led us to dead ends. Again I ask, who designed this thing? Not to mention, I’ve never seen so much corn growing along a trail before. Where are the trees? As we meandered along, Asa started to get concerned. We could hear voices everywhere, but couldn’t see the people through the dense rows of corn. Then out of nowhere, we’d round a turn and people would suddenly appear! Seeing other dogs and people isn’t out of the ordinary while on hikes. However, what made this hike unique is each time we encountered new groups, the humans would all jokingly ask each other, “which way out?” This made Asa nervous.
Mom’s insistence of singing along to the Disney music blasting from the maze entrance, certainly didn’t help my concentration. Mom, take a hint, and “Let It Go!” We walked on, when all of a sudden a dog appeared off-leash out of the corn. She looked as surprised to see us, as we were of her. Apparently she abandoned her humans, and was determined to find her own way out. We briefly stopped to discuss how to get out of this maze. She and I agreed that going left was probably the best option. But Dad disagreed, and off we went again to the right.
After walking for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only 12 minutes, Asa sat down and refused to go further. All the unseen voices, random people popping up, and Mom’s singing was too much for the little guy to handle. But I gave him a pep talk, and Mom stopped singing because oddly enough the music was getting softer and farther away sounding. Ok, I may have used this opportunity to chew on a cornstalk. What can I say? I’m a stress eater!
I marched on, determined to lead my family to safety! But then that’s when I saw it…trampled in the dirt was a dog’s rope toy! What happened to that poor dog that he abandoned his beloved toy? Did he ever make it out of this labyrinth? Speaking of which, while Mom sang along to the Disney music, Dad was equally annoying with his quotes from the movie Labyrinth. “You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, before your baby brother becomes one of us…forever.” Not helping Dad, not helping! No wonder poor Asa is becoming unhinged!
That’s when we saw it. The exit? No, nonsense! We were hopelessly lost! We saw one of lookout points along the path with a helpful young lad stationed to guide us out. It was at this moment my tail drooped because Dad did something he had never done before. He asked for directions! Now I knew for certain we were in danger. Dad never asks for directions! Mom even took a photo of Dad to record this momentous event. The helpful lad told us all we needed to do was three rights in the white zone, followed by a giant loop in the green until we saw the blue ribbons again. That’s easy enough. Well that is until we somehow managed to make a giant circle and ended up right back at the boy again! Being a dog, I have no concept of right or left, and I’m really not all the concerned with colors, so can’t be blamed for going the wrong way. Not sure what Dad’s excuse was though. However, rather than humble Dad and force him to ask for directions again, Mom jumped at the chance when the young lad asked, “Would you like to know the quick exit out?” And with that we conquered that corn maze! Another successful hike for Living with a Golden!
