As you know I take my responsibility as guard dog very serious. However, despite my efforts, I can’t be in two places at once. So when away on neighborhood patrol I like to use my Number Two Security System. No, not Asa. He’s useless when it comes to guarding our home. In fact I’m sure he’d invite any trespassers inside. No, when doing my duty, I turn to my doody for this important job.

My security system of choice is a full poop bag left at the end of our driveway! It’s easy to activate. All I have to do is make a business transaction while heading out, and my human will package it up in a bag and leave it on my driveway while we continue on our walk. No one suspects a thing when they see it. On the surface it looks like just your ordinary bag of poop. Yet if anyone drives a vehicle down my driveway, I’ll know.

Take for example, recently I returned from neighborhood patrol and by all appearances it looked like no one had trespassed. There were no packages on the porch. No cars in the driveway. I never would have known that someone had turned around in my driveway, if it wasn’t for the fact they drove over my bag of poop! Not only did they leave evidence with the squished bag, but the easily moldable substance within the bag gave me the perfect imprint of their tire! Now I just need to compare that tire print to known treads, examine the relative squish of the bag to the weight of various vehicles, and voila! I will have my answer as to who drove in my driveway while I was away from home on neighborhood patrol.