This Christmas, to Save Elves from Tears

Asa is parodying yet another Christmas song. Today’s inspiration comes from an unfortunate incident with a gift I received last Christmas. In fact, he is singing it to the tune of Wham’s “Last Christmas.” Personally, I think Asa is making much ado about nothing. The bear in question did survive…sort of!

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different

Once bitten I had to try
I really liked it, I’m not gonna tell a lie
Tell me Santa, do you even blame me?
It made a loud squeak that sure did surprise me

“Happy Christmas,” you tagged it up and sent it
With no note telling me, I really should not eat it
Now you know what a fool you’ve been
To trust a Golden Retriever, who will do it again

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different

Ooh
Oh, uh, Santa!

A brand new stuffie, with plastic button eyes
Its hiding something wonderful inside
Oh my, you thought it would be something to sleep on
Me? I guess I thought it was a toy to chew on

A face of a teddy bear with a squeak at its heart
Pure joy undercover, so I tore it apart
Uh, oh now that I’ve found my real love
You’ll never give me again

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different, different!

Last Christmas Santa gave me a toy
But the very next day I tore it apart
This year, to save Elves from tears
He’ll give me something very different

Rude!

A face of a teddy bear with a squeak at its heart (You gave me mine)
Pure joy undercover, so I tore it apart
Maybe this year, the toy will be stronger
The toy will be something stronger

Special toy
So long!

I repeat: Santa, no squeaky bears were harmed in the making of this song…honest!

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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