This time of year we are all aware that Santa is judging our every move and deciding if we go on the nice or naughty list.  However, who’s watching Santa?  And more importantly why does he get to judge us?  I’m only asking because after watching a marathon of Rankin and Bass Christmas specials, I’m starting to think Santa belongs on the naughty list!

Let’s begin with the holiday classic, Santa Claus is Coming to Town.  In that special Kris Kringle is blatantly breaking the laws of  Burgermeister Meisterburger.  Why does Santa feel like he is above the law and has the right to bring toys to the children of Sombertown?  Yet when Asa or I randomly make our own rules because we feel it is the right thing to do, we end up on the naughty list?  Looks like Santa lives by the motto of “do what I say and not what I do,” when it comes to picking and choosing which rules to follow.

Now in the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” we are told we better not pout.  However, isn’t that exactly what Santa does in the Rankin and Bass special, The Year Without a Santa Claus?  In that stop motion animation cartoon Santa has a pity party that no one likes him anymore, and randomly decides to cancel Christmas.  Now I admit the stress of the holidays gets to me too sometimes, but I wouldn’t just cancel Christmas on a whim and disappoint everyone else who is looking forward to it!

Speaking of whims, in the song taught to all dogs reminding us we need to be good, there is the line “he’s making a list and checking it twice.”  Clearly Santa understands the importance of fact checking.  Therefore, why in the animated TV special ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, which  is very loosely based on the poem, does Santa refuse to fact check the insulting anonymous letter in the Junctionville newspaper proclaiming that he doesn’t exist?  Sure it’s an offensive letter.  But offensive letters are published in newspapers every day claiming to express the opinions of “all of us.”  However, everyone knows one person’s opinion isn’t necessarily the opinion of all.  In fact, I may go as far as to say this is yet another example of Santa breaking his own pouting rule.

In addition, we know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, but do you recall the bullying Santa did to our favorite reindeer of all in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?  Sorry Santa, but you were downright mean to baby Rudolph when after seeing his glowing nose you proclaimed, “great bouncing iceberg!”  In a matter of seconds Santa went from “he’s going to be on my team someday,” to he’ll never work in this town again.  Santa even publicly humiliated Rudolph when he chastised his father at flying practice by saying, “Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself. What a pity. He had a nice takeoff, too.”  Does Santa not value talent?  Clearly he doesn’t.  Because after the elves perform the song they’ve been working very hard on, the best Santa can muster is “Well, it needs work. I have to go.”  That’s not very nice Santa.  Any of these examples of bullying would put us on the naughty list.

Finally although Rankin and Bass did not produce this Christmas special, I’d like to conclude with even the Grinch has a dog, but Santa doesn’t!  What does that say about the “jolly old elf,” if no dogs want to be his friend?  So while I promise to continue to do my best to behave this holiday season, I have to ask, “Who’s Rankin’ Santa?”