Well this is really awkward. On behalf of Asa’s World Tour of Maine, we’d like to issue an apology to Asa’s feathered fan. You may recall earlier this summer, there was a bird in our garage. At that time, Asa incorrectly assumed she was a fan who followed him home on tour. And I may have accused her of not being real, and a drone sent to spy on me. Well recently new evidence came to light, that led us to reexamine old clues that had been misinterpreted. That bird in our garage wasn’t a fan, nor was she a spy, she was accidentally trapped there by us!
Recently while taking the summer wreath off the door, Mom noticed there was a bird’s nest built in it. That’s when the pieces started coming together. Weeks earlier, shortly after the garage incident, Mom discovered there was something on the living room wall that looked like bird poop. At the time, Dad told Mom she only thought it looked like that because of our recent bird visitor in the garage. But what he didn’t tell her was that he had also found a strange substance on the living room rug shortly after the bird incident. He just assumed he spilled food, and cleaned it up without even mentioning it to Mom. However, now in light of the other clues, he remembered this unusual find.
Step aside, humans! This is a case for Detective Chuck Billy! This is what I think transpired that day. We were in our usual early morning rush, trying to get ready to leave for the next stop on Asa’s World Tour of Maine. Despite having an app for that, Mom flung wide open the front door, the door which the wreath containing the bird’s nest is located, and rushed outside to check what the weather was like. Taken by surprise, the bird flew into the house, without Mom noticing because she was too distracted trying to tell the day’s weather based on conditions in our front yard. Having made her decision, she rushed upstairs to get ready.
Meanwhile, as tour manager, I was busy supervising Dad packing the car for our trip. To do so, he often leaves the door from the house to the garage open while he loads our adventure bag, picnic basket, hiking backpack, and other gear. That would have given the bewildered bird the perfect opportunity to fly from her perch in the living room, out of the house into the garage. But the garage door itself was not opened, so the bird was then trapped inside the garage waiting for her chance to exit.
However, the poor frightened bird probably got scared what with me barking orders at Dad, Asa just being Asa, and the general flurry of activity by Mom and Dad, that she missed her opportunity to fly out when the garage inevitably did briefly open for us to drive away. We no doubt closed it before she mustered her courage to escape!
Why did she choose to stay overnight despite given the opportunity to exit when we arrived home? Well I’m assuming she was still in shock over what had transpired, and not thinking clearly. Well that, and I may have been barking at her, and Asa’s big toothy wolf grin probably was a little scary if she didn’t know he was just smiling. Oh and Dad waving his arms around while playing bird calls on his phone probably confused her too. Feathered friend, we’re sorry you chose to abandon your nest after that unexpected adventure. We hope you found a safer and quieter place to live far away from our frenetic pace.
Again, we offer our sincere apologies. If you return, please let us give you a backstage pass to the fall leg of Asa’s World Tour of Maine. Although, you probably already got enough of a behind the scenes view to last you a lifetime. We understand if you refuse this generous offer. But please don’t go to the tabloids about this incident!
