Today’s the BIG day! The Solar Eclipse is finally here, and Maine is in the path of totality! Starting around 2:00 PM and lasting until approximately 4:30 PM EDT, the Moon will passing between the Sun and Earth, completely blocking our view of the Sun for a few minutes at 3:30 PM, and shrouding parts of the country in darkness. However, while most people will be looking up, Asa and I will be safe in our UFO bunker! Why you ask? Because as a renowned Dog Ufologist I know that extraterrestrials will use the cover of darkness to begin their UFO invasion!

Don’t believe me? Well let’s review the clues that the aliens are up to something. 1. There was the rare April nor’easter on Thursday, leaving thousands without power in Maine. It cut off critical infrastructure, just days before the extraterrestrial visitors arrive. Who has time to worry about UFOs when you can’t turn on the lights or watch television? 2. There was the even rarer “natural phenomenon” on Friday of the earthquake in New Jersey. It didn’t just rattle the nerves there. The earthquake could be felt all the way to Maine, and other states in the path of totality. Yet another way to distract folks from preparing for the eclipse. 3. The experts from Ancient Aliens were in New Jersey when the quake happened. Then they came to New England on their Ancient Aliens Live tour. Coincidence? This Dog Ufologist says, “NO!” Clearly by having my mentor, Giorgio Tsoukalos practically in my backyard, the extraterrestrials were hoping to distract me with the earthquake and snow. And if that’s not proof enough something is in the works, 4. Mercury is in retrograde! Everyone who is anyone knows that’s not good! Clearly the extraterrestrials are plotting their arrival for when we are plunged into darkness during the Solar Eclipse.

Now before you scoff reminding me that as a puppy, my big brother Lemmy and I spent the alleged 2012 Mayan Apocalypse in a bunker, and nothing happened, how do we know the Mayans didn’t get their math wrong? After all 2024 is divisible by 12, factor in leap years, and maybe they miscalculated? Besides, my biological father was Daddy Eclipse! So I should know a thing or two about eclipses thanks to him! In fact, this is my third eclipse! The first was the partial solar eclipse in 2017, where Maine was nowhere near the path of totality. The second was the partial eclipse at dawn in 2021. I admit no UFOs were “seen” during those events, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t sneak in under the radar while everyone was distracted wearing those flimsy protective glasses! Because for those of you who have been following me, Chuck Billy the renowned dog Ufologist, you already know that Maine is a favorite vacation spot for extraterrestrial tourists! Therefore Asa and myself will be spending the day safe in our UFO bunker. I stocked it myself, with all the essentials.

For those not as prepared as us and won’t be in a UFO bunker today, remember to wear your solar glasses if looking up. Charge up your phones and fuel up your vehicles if traveling to witness this event, since here in Maine the path is through some rather remote places. Pack your patience. Be observant of those around you, because you never know who could be watching in the crowds with you. Most importantly have snacks ready, because anything could happen during the total Solar Eclipse!