For years now, I have been sharing my fascinating theories as a renowned Dog Ufologist. Many have wondered what started my meteoric rise to fame. Well it all began when I was just a puppy with the Mayan Apocalypse. For you see, my older brother, angel Lemmy, firmly believed that the Mayan prophecy was correct and that UFOs would be invading Earth on December 21, 2012. Therefore, he prepared a UFO bunker in a non-disclosed location, and we waited…
While we waited, he shared with me tales about his UFO abduction, and warned that it could someday happen to me. Alright, truth be told, I thought Lemmy was crazy. After all, he did have that tumor growing in his brain that only I could smell. After that day, in which absolutely nothing happened, we emerged from our bunker and I promptly forgot all about his nonsense. That is until Lemmy’s prophecy came true, and I was abducted by a UFO!
It was around the time of my second birthday, when I went for what I initially thought was a routine visit to see my friend, Dr. Doug, at the animal hospital. Little did I realize that Mom and Dad forgetting to feed me breakfast that morning would be the least of my concerns that day! Hours later I awoke at the animal hospital with all the telltale signs of an alien abduction. There was the missing period of time. An unexplained medical procedure performed on me. And a microchip was implanted between my shoulder blades! Lemmy was right!
After that Lemmy and I spent many hours watching Ancient Aliens, and other documentaries to learn all we could about this phenomenon. However, after Lemmy crossed Rainbow Bridge, my heart just wasn’t into it, and I abandoned my research. That is until Asa joined my family, and I started noticing purple laser beams in some of the photos Mom took. I may have forgotten about the UFOs, but they hadn’t forgotten about me! I needed to protect myself and my little brother!
So once again I rocketed into my important research. At first my focus was broad, sharing tales of an abducted stuffed dog astronaut, as well as celebrity sightings. But leading up to Memorial Day Weekend in 2016, a UFO was caught on a police dashboard camera over Portland, Maine, after I had just visited the area. You have to ask yourself is this a coincidence? This Dog Ufologist says, NO! In fact, Maine ranks as one of the top 5 states to see a UFO, according to the National UFO Reporting Center. Therefore moving forward, I focused my attention on my neck of the woods. Oh sure that first sighting, as well as subsequent ones were all explained away by the “experts” as meteors or other “natural” phenomenons, but I was determined to learn the truth.
As my work continued, I soon began making connections between Aliens and the unusual behavior of cats. Yes, people laughed at me. But they stopped laughing when I discovered cat geoglyphs in Maine vaguely similar to the mysterious Nazca Lines in Peru! It was also around this time that my research took a huge giant step forward when I was interviewed for a podcast about the UFO Abduction of Betty and Barney Hill’s dog, Delsey! For some reason my invitation to be a speaker at the Exeter UFO Festival must have got lost in the mail. But while I was outside watching Asa participate in the pet costume contest, a wise podcaster noticed my “Don’t Forget Delsey” sign and interviewed me for his show.
Then it happened, all my years of research were officially validated, when in 2020 the United States Government admitted that UFOs are real! FINALLY! Since that time, they have established Space Force and committees to further investigate this phenomenon. To which yet again my invitation must have been lost in the mail, or intercepted by the notorious Men in Black. But no worries! Because I’m sure for my 10th birthday on Sunday, Asa is going to grant my one big wish by getting me a ride into outer space on one of Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin rockets, Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic, or Elon Musk’s SpaceX! If you’d like to read my theories over the years, please visit the Aliens section on my blog, Living with a Golden.
