It has been a very long week here for Asa and I ever since we were accused in the disappearance of the dog nail clippers and hindering their replacement. Yesterday our lawyer, Pye the Guinea Pig Esq., filed a motion to dismiss due to problems with the investigation. “First, my clients were not made aware […]
Asa here. Chuck Billy is exhausted from celebrating his birthday yesterday, so I thought I’d let him sleep in this morning. Problem is the case of the missing dog nail clippers has resumed with even more evidence against us. I found a copy of Detective Mom’s affidavit on the kitchen table. To be honest my […]
On the evening of January 24, 2018 a pair of dog nail clippers were reported missing. After an in-depth search and investigation, two suspects were brought in for questioning. Their names have been changed to protect their identity. The following is their interrogation for this currently on-going investigation. Det. Mom: Charles William, our investigation clearly […]
Everyone knows that when being petted, I prefer sitting on the left side of the person while Asa sits on the right. However, Asa has a hard time remembering this unwritten rule, and I am forced to remind him on a daily basis. Every evening it is the same routine. While Mom tidies up in […]
Ok, so I may not have been completely honest with all of you. The reason I’m perpetually on Santa’s naughty list has nothing to do with me stealing his hat while taking a selfie, nor does it have anything to do with the creepy elf or cats spying on my behavior. I may have accidentally […]
Well it only took 3 years, but I finally figured out what is Asa’s kryptonite. So what stops my happy-go-lucky little brother dead in his tracks? It’s not my nemesis snakes, nor is it the dreaded vacuum. It’s not even the scary hairdryer after a bath. Nope, Asa is rendered powerless by the lid of […]
For years I have been haunted by an innocent mistake I made as a puppy. I stole Santa’s hat. When I was a mere pup of 11 months old, Mom and Dad took me to get my picture taken with Santa, and let’s just say I got a bit overly excited. Come on, who hasn’t […]
Asa and I have reached an important milestone! Mom is trusting us with our very own, fully decorated, Christmas tree! It only took me 5 long years to achieve this goal. No thanks to Lemmy, who sabotaged my first Christmas by decorating a tree with tennis balls! But after years of enjoying the Christmas tree […]
I’ve come to the realization that because of Chuck Billy I can’t have squeaky toy friends. While helping Dad organize the basement I discovered a squeaky toy hiding amongst the boxes. Immediately I brought this new friend upstairs to show Chuck Billy. While Chuck Billy examined my new friend, I pondered what to name her. […]
Chuck Billy: Way to go, brother. Asa: Oh you’re not blaming this one on me! You’re equally to blame! Chuck Billy: Me? Oh no, this was all your idea! Asa: But you started it! Chuck Billy: Whatever. You finished it, alright. Asa: So now what are you going to do about it? Chuck Billy: Me?! […]
